Why am I getting so upset? Dialing into triggers and the truth behind what they are really about. 🧯

Emotional triggers can be difficult to understand and even more to influence because they tend to be automatic, meaning they happen in the heat of the moment before we have a chance to see them coming or intervene.

For example:

When our boss admonishes us at work for something we have done incorrectly… we are cut to the core: the wound is visceral, and we might weep.

Equally, if a waitress is short with us, or a bus driver bemoans us for not having the correct change: we might freeze, losing our voice or else shrink inwards in shame.

These reactions are exaggerated. We are having a large response to a small event. On the physical plane, at least, the trauma is minor. In our minds, however, and energetically, it is immense. It has snatched us up and taken us hostage to an earlier time; an instance where we were treated in a way that didn’t feel safe. This could be being disciplined as a child in a setting where we were forced to be silent. Or the constant daily repetition of being told we aren’t good enough.

Emotional triggers are serious because they rob us of our composure and when we lose it, our foundations are weak. We are strong only when we are ourselves as a fully integrated adult, when we are calm and reserved and grounded in our sense of self and place.

We all have people and things that cause us to lose it. And sometimes we are more than justified in our response. Perhaps we need to stand up for ourselves and exert our boundaries, because if we don’t no one else will. Perhaps we are on the path of learning to treat ourselves with more respect and love. But perhaps, too, this response is harmful, filling us up with excess cortisol and adrenaline, causing our nervous system to go into overdrive.

With all things, there is a balance and getting it right is a skill that constantly needs to be tweaked. Nobody is perfect. Even after years of therapy, I still unravel when the circumstances are right. What we can all do though is learn to see more clearly and endeavour to be more conscious, because the clearer we see and the more conscious we are, the less likely we are to shape shift in the heat of the moment.

The King of Pentacles reveals how we want to experience the world and how we would like to be treated by others.

In this world: we are king. We own a sizeable kingdom, over which we have control. We have everything we need: its presence guaranteed. As such we are comfortable and secure. And we feel protected and provided for.

It’s kind of like how our inner child envisions our life. Or how we wish it was and are always working towards achieving. We get upset, therefore, when we are challenged (our actions, choices, opinions…) because anyone questioning us and our ability threatens the foundations. We do not have deep roots. Any sharp breeze or medium-strength gust could uproot us.

This card indicates that what we most strongly desire – home, sanctuary, love, status, financial security, etc., still eludes us. And suggests that attempting to hold onto what we have managed to accumulate: a property we rent, a job that’s unstable, a partner who we don’t like or who might leave us, etc…? is causing us conflict. In many ways, we feel like an imposter because we are trying to balance two things – what we want and what we have – and it is dividing us, and this is where the triggering occurs. The King of Pentacles reveals this and shows us that we need to make a choice. Do we play it safe and stay where we are, or do we opt for transformation and adventure?

And this is where the Two of Wands comes in. In this card we see a man holding two poles, grappling with a decision. Does he choose the left, representing staying put, or the right, representing action? This here is our trigger. We are unhappy with where we are in our lives. We are tired of all of the compromises. We want mastery and to be in control. We are old enough, surely, and wise enough. We have worked hard thus far. But we are like this man: a peasant standing guard over someone else’s kingdom.

This card is a call to action. Decide to stay put and choose to accept what you have now and where you are and put down all complaints against it, surrendering your free will. Or act, walking away from everything that you know and have built in order to start again.

The Four of Swords is how we move towards a revolution and how we lend support to our triggered parts. In this card we see a tomb inside a sarcophagus, inside of which, we presume, there is a man. This card is suggesting that we allow a part of us time to rest, laying him or her aside for a period. In this sealed and protected space, we can drift into sleep, away from anxiety, worry, fear, concern, drama and conflict. A part of us can take a break, going on an inner retreat. This part isn’t dead, only sleeping, and once he or she is done, rested and recovered, they can be returned to us and our world.

The King of Swords offers us an alternative to the King of Pentacles energy: a new throne, and suggests we work to own it. In this picture the wealth we possess is knowledge and the kingdom we have mastery over is truth. If we can understand that our learning and what we choose to do with it is our power, far more than money ever will be, then we can have freedom from our triggers. Because no one can take the wealth of what we know and choose to believe away from us unless we permit it.

Are you ready to walk this path?

Are you brave enough to make some decisions?

This reading is a call to action, if ever there was one, but if you are here you are ready.


If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.


Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add. 

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x

What does my inner child need from me right now and how can I be of better service? 🧃🍦

If you are anything like me, you will have found the past four months deeply triggering: external events and the lack of solid facts waking wounds and insecurities you thought you had healed. As human beings, we need certain things in order to function properly; one of which is control over our lives. We also need to feel financially secure, or at least secure enough so that we can keep a roof over our heads and food on our tables in whatever way that translates for us. And we need people too, to take us out of our heads, to be a mirror to who we are and how we act, and to act as family and community. None of this has been available, at least not in the way we have previously known, and this has challenged, changed and provoked our thinking, seeing and experiencing, along with what we think we can expect to think, feel and experience in the future.

So our inner children are unsettled and creating chaos, because if you were little and suddenly got told by your parents that you couldn’t go out anymore and do the things that you love, or see your friends without wearing a mask for protection and didn’t know if you would still have your house next month, your parents their jobs, and you couldn’t go on holiday or buy new things because money was scarce and needed to be conserved not squandered, you’d be asking to be held and heard too.

So what can we do and how can we help?

The Eight of Swords shows us exactly what our inner child is experiencing and this looks a lot like persecution. The woman in the picture has been cast out, exiled from her rose-coloured castle on the mountain top. Left in the middle of nowhere in a clearing on the edge of the forest; tied up and blindfolded: she is unwanted and imprisoned, or this is how it feels to her.

She experiences this as:

  • nobody cares about me; and
  • I am a burden.

And, to a degree, she is correct. We have abandoned her – because she makes us feel uncomfortable, because she experiences the world viscerally, and in our current position of worry and overwhelm, we do not feel able to accommodate that. We are just about able to hold ourselves together, to contain our current version of self-created reality. To let her in, to experience her in all of her anguish and discomfort, all of her messy rage, is to risk all of that crumbling and with it the full weight of the truth as it comes crashing in. This card is predominantly about difficulties in overcoming restriction. It is a metaphor for both the external world and also the inner one. Look closely at how you feel about the world and how you feel it treats you and then reflect on how you treat your inner child. Could there be synchronicities here? If you were kinder to your inner child, do you think maybe the world, the Grand Mother and Great Father, would in turn be kinder to you?

The Nine of Pentacles shows us what she would prefer and what is possible if we can reintegrate her. We can view this card as a mirror for the previous card, an alternate version of the same reality. Instead of being cast out from the rose-coloured castle, this woman lives happily inside of it, free to move around as she pleases, visiting the garden, tending to the plants, mixing with and befriending the animals. The creatures are her friends here, and the environment works in harmony with her own energy system. She is a co-creator in this landscape. Think how happy and healthy we could be if only we could trust this, if we could open ourselves up to the possibility that our inner child is both our ally and our friend. This card represents success and enjoyment and what could be ours with a little work.

The King of Pentacles is the ultimate goal, for he not only lives in the castle but also owns it. If we can trust in our inner power, in our ability to do and create what we set our hearts to and our minds upon, we can live with our inner children, trusting in our ability to take care of both them and ourselves, all working together to create wealth, health and harmony. If we look at the journey of the cards, all we need in order to feel settled, safe, secure, sane, cheerful, capable and grounded, is to take off the blindfold and trust in our version of the world. Be the creator. Make pretty pictures with grey crayons. This card represents financial stability and security, a future that is waiting to come in when we are ready.


If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.


Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add. 

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x

What is the biggest obstacle 🚧 that stands in my way right now?

There are many stages in life, each of them with their own hurdles and hoops. Some of these are easy to overcome, others not. Perhaps, too, as we get older, the direction we are supposed to follow becomes less clear, so it’s not so much jumping the hurdles or navigating the hoops but knowing where they are located to begin with. No one ever said it was supposed to be easy, but sometimes it seems overly hard.

This reading is intended to help you to see those obstacles, arming you with the knowledge to move past them. Whether you are single and looking for love, unemployed and looking for work, unwell and striving for health, etc., there is usually a reason why things aren’t working out and finding that reason can be the key to receiving the ‘all’ you desire, deserve and want.

The Four of Pentacles 💶 represents where we are right now and shows us the obstacle. We see a man of moderate wealth clinging onto his possessions for fear of losing them. He strikes us as someone who is deeply insecure, perhaps suffering from imposter syndrome, who, despite having gained experience, wealth, knowledge, skill, respect, notoriety, etc., still does not trust himself (and, as a result, others). It indicates that the real obstacle – between you and love, friendship, success, health, etc., – is your (dear, sweet, wounded, yet-to-be-fully-rounded, vulnerable ) self. A painful truth, but useful nevertheless.

The Justice ⚖️ card then moves on towards the answer, another painful truth, but one with the means to release us from the bars and the chains of our own psyche. To get what you want, i.e. remove the obstacle, you must undertake a thorough examination of self. Imagine a court, with yourself as the accused and/or the victim. Introduce two lawyers: a defense attorney and a prosecutor. Now role play through a trial, in which you interview yourself thoroughly. Don’t just accept the answers: look for holes in the truth, act upon the notion of guilty until proven innocent, ask difficult questions, get to the heart of the matter. You might think you are doing everything that you can, that your behaviour is exemplary, but there are areas where you are sabotaging and blocking yourself. Find those and you have something to work with. Essentially, we are talking about a core wound that has been left to fester.


If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.


Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add.

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x


Will this relationship last? ⛩

Relationships are tricky and complicated things. Whenever there is more than one person involved, there are more feelings, memories, wounds and past experiences to be taken into consideration in the union. And, if we or our partner, be they our actual partner or our desired partner, have traumas that have yet to be released, the landscape gets more muddled.

Hurt people hurt people. Lost people don’t know how to find themselves, let alone find and be there with you. Abandoned children aren’t very good at connecting and communicating. And that’s just the start.

This reading aims to help you to work out if this relationship is a keeper, and then, if you decide it is, offer up some guidance about how to keep it.

Make a tea.
Grab a blanket.

Get comfy.
Settle in for a slightly bumpy ride.

The Emperor presents to us a person who is aloof, unreachable almost. He sits upon his lofty throne in his far off, hard to reach, kingdom, protected by his armour and his minions. He is cold, hard and unmovable, stuck in his ways and fixed on his points. His opinions are like rock upon which your quiet voice is rebuked and silenced. This person is trapped in the past, fighting distant childhood battles only they are privy to. In the present they are distant, sad, shut off. The harder you try to reach them the harder they push back. Perhaps feelings of unworthiness are the issue? Beware of their anger, it is like a mighty fire that will try to consume you. Treat them with care like you would a wounded dog, for cornered they will likely bite. This is who they are right now, if nothing else changes. Their mind is fixated on their work and on empire building, it is them against the world, and you, my dear, are part of that world too.

In order to get close to them, you first have to find a way to lead them to heal. This work is not for the faint hearted.

The Knight of Pentacles offers some hope, for this is who this person can become if they take action. This will require looking directly at the things that scare them the most and the things they have spent their life trying to run from. It might well be triggering and release some pretty powerful emotions. And if you are standing too close you might well get hurt. But the way is clear. Instead of focusing on their own empire, working solely for themselves and their own gain, they need to step down and join the people, becoming part of a common goal. In service to a greater population, they will find a more righteous path and in doing so release and heal what they have long been carrying. The key is in turning their passion, their goal, their desired means of income and career, into one that can help many people. Essentially being of service. For in healing others we, in turn, find ways to heal ourselves.

If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering the pandemic, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.

Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add.

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x




How can I heal my thyroid 🦋 and speak my truth?

Today’s reading is all about the thyroid and the throat chakra, an energy and a physical centre of much angst and confusion. We all struggle to speak our truth, some of us more than others. Childhood, schooling, life experiences… have pushed it into corners. Each slight or harsh remark. Each person who ignored us or shut us down. Each failed attempt at expressing what was in our heart. They all impact our confidence in who and how we are. Perhaps you suppress your truth in order to appeal or appease? Perhaps life is simply simpler that way. Perhaps owning your truth, your real you, would rock a steady boat?

Wherever you are in regards to that voice, that truth, it’s ok. This is not supposed to be a short journey or one you are meant to reach the end of too soon. It’s a continual expanding and growing, one that you will continue to nurture for the rest of your days. But your throat and your thyroid, if they are speaking/hurting, indicate stagnation and blocks, and this is what we want to be focussing on here. 

This two card reading will help you to do just that so that you can be you with more confidence.

The Page of Pentacles shows us where we are, which is actually a pretty good place, even if we might not currently think so. No matter how we feel and what we are experiencing, we have done a lot of work and moved a long way. Now, however, we are stuck, in that place of looking to others, higher powers, for answers… and maybe we have asked and learned all there is to know… and done our done due diligence and our apprenticeship… and are actually ready, armed with enough experience and learning, to go into the world? It’s time to take a deep breath, man (or woman) -up and trust. You’ve created and crafted a beautiful seed. Now you need to plant it.

The Knight of Pentacles is the perfect next step and partner to the Page. The future and the solution lie in finding out what tree that seed will grow. What is your calling? What is your cause? Who are you really supposed to be? Point yourself in that direction, take a deep grounding breath, and put your feet into action. One step at a time, checking in daily, follow that yellow (solar plexus, intuition, gut instinct) bricked road.


If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering the pandemic, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.


Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add.

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x

The Queen of Pentacles


This is a two-card reading, with the first card representing the present and the second what is blocking you from what you would like. The deck used is the Original Rider Waite Smith.



The suit of Pentacles represents abundance, manifestation, realisation, material possessions, health, wealth; work, business, career success. It is about our outer surroundings, the physical world; how we create, shape and guide it. On a more esoteric level, it is also about the ego and how we let it and not our higher self determine that journey. For this reason, it can also represent possessiveness, jealousy, over-indulgence, greed, materialism and selfishness.

It’s element is earth and its season is Autumn; or, if we are looking at timing, years.

Pentacles people are serious, hardworking, practical and realistic. And while they might like dreaming about what they want, need, wish they had, etc., they never lose themselves in the future; they will not wait to win the lottery: they will live their lives, doing their best to create their own fortune. They are also loving, kind and tactile/kinaesthetic, relating to the world and their surroundings and filling themselves back up through the practice of touching, feeling, smelling, tasting, hearing, etc…



The suit of Cups represents our heart and how we see, hear, feel, live and create from inside. It is all about our emotions, feelings and mental well-being and determines the quality of our inter-personal relationships, interaction with others and connection to the surrounding world. It is spontaneous, passionate, authentic, honest, optimistic, romantic and imaginative. As a result, it can also represent the opposite – especially when drawn upside down, as it was in this particular reading: indicating a situation or person who has untidy/mismanaged energy, is emotionally unbalanced, disengaged, dispassionate, unrealistic and fantastical. There will be unresolved traumas and issues and negative compulsions and behaviours blocking their Path.

It’s element is water. And it’s season is Spring.

Cups people are highly-sensitive: they feel everything inside. They love with every molecule in their body and care deeply about others and the world. Because of this, they get hurt often and easily by simple interactions which would not bother others: a snub remark or careless comment can injure them. In a bid to protect themselves, they have a tendency to overreact: jumping in fear to defend themselves when there has been no intended slight.



The Queen of Pentacles card stands in the position of the present; it tells us about where we have come from, what we have been through and where we are now. It is a card full of emotion: of things pent-up, repressed and/or denied. And even though the card was drawn the right way up in this instance, usually pointing to a reading indicating manifestation, accumulation, prosperity and success… the energy coming through, especially when paired with the Ace of Cups which crosses it, leans me to intuit and report the opposite.

Let’s unpick the image slowly to understand why:


cheerfully coloured in yellow, blue, green, orange, pink and red
• landscape ripe and abundant, rich with flowers and fruit,
  roses and tulips
rabbit – suggesting energy, strength, youth, birth, fertility and new life
• queen is sat beneath a canopy of flowers
sun is shining
• background is gold
throne: big and strong and finely made
clothing: expensive and tailored
gold coin, engraved with a pentacle
• she, the queen, sits: grounded, surrounded by a reality of her own making
• setting looks warm and balmy
• feels peaceful and relaxed
• energy is slow and somnolent

I imagine a rich mountain pasture or meadow, an accompanying orchestra of birdsong and crickets, a tinkling goat bell, the bleat of a sheep, busy bees… The trees overhead creak gently as a bird shifts. There is the melody of a stream playing out in the distance. Occasionally, there is a sigh as the queen shifts, stretching her arms and legs. Her dress and cloak rustle against the cold hard throne; she cannot get comfortable no matter what. With the side of her sleeve she polishes the coin, continuing until her arm is tired and its surface is a mirror. Inside she can see her face: a wistful woman looking back, tired and worn. Childless, widowed or single, bereft of one or more important family members: her heart is made of water and ice. Having been denied within her personal life and internal world the abundance she is seemingly creating all around her, she looks upon the landscape with its roll-call of flowers and feels hollow and empty. She has made things, she is surrounded by accolades and achievements; she sits up high on her throne, central in her kingdom – and yet she is profoundly alone, her life a puzzle of misplaced and missing pieces.



rabbit is running
throne is:
   – grey
   – stone
   – covered in disturbing carvings
• there are blue/grey mountains in the background, barren and cold
gold coin, oppressive and heavy
crown, more befitting of a man
clothes too large
• posture stooped
• face down-turned, pensive and sad
lethargy in her body, and despair
• I feel acutely sorry for her, like weeping

So while I am looking at an image of wealth and prosperity; feasting on splashes of vibrant colour, rich indulgent landscapes, floral festivity, accumulation, decadence and ownership: the queen at its centre, our main concern and focal-point, looks detached and sad: lost in thought, preoccupied by problems in her own personal relationships and/or her domain.

Maybe the coin in her lap is to blame?

It is very large and must therefore also be very heavy too.

Did she sacrifice too much in its attainment?

Has she had to fight to keep it close?

Has she lost things and people she cared about in its ownership or protection?

She is staring into it as if it were a crystal ball, as if the answers she seeks might be lodged there.

What does she regret?

What does she desire?

What does she long to undo?

Maybe what she holds is an imaginary coinreal wealth on a physical level still alluding her?

It could be all and any of these things. Answer the questions, look at the card and read it intuitively, then summarise what it means to you.


I feel that the role is stifling her, that she longs to be released from her obligations, that she feels the weight of the world on a daily basis, and that she carries too much in her mind and on her frame.

Why are her clothes so much bigger than her frame, their fabric thick and heavy?

Why does her crown suggest that it was made for a man?

Why is her throne covered in ghost-like wraiths and demonic-looking creatures?

It feels like she is imprisoned in a masculine role, having perhaps lost her husband, brother or father and been forced to then inherit. It doesn’t strike me as a gentle kingdom: one full of laughter, fun, lightness and life. It looks serious, heavy and hard, full of burdens and responsibilities.

Even with the flowers, which typically are full of positive energy, potential and new life: there is the feeling of oppression and being closed in. They feel as if they mean to devour or stifle her, inhabiting her person and throne like a garden gone to weed.

Look how bright the sun is; the sky without a trace of blue. Imagine sitting beneath it for hours and hours. Breathless, devoid of space and movement and breeze: it would drain and harm you.

The ground by her feet is also barren, with great big bald patches spilling outwards – further evidence of the neglect we are witnessing. It’s almost as if she sits in the middle of the jungle – her kingdom the Congo, wild and untamed; her life dictated by the political climate and the changeable nature of her family and friends.

As I sit and stare into the card, my eyes keep coming back to the throne and it’s nightmarish creatures. Here is a queen dressed like a person who believes in human kindness and God, who looks like she goes to church on a regular basis, says her prayers and tries at all times to be nice. But she is sitting in a chair that is designed for ritual and sacrifice and waking the dead. I could not sit even for a moment in that chair, without feeling immediately compelled to leap out.



The Queen of Pentacles represents prosperity, security, hard work, practicality and independence. She is caring and kind and gives freely to others. She is a good mother, both to her family and friends: the person you go to for comfort and advice when you need help. She is grounded and down to earth. She does not live in the clouds but exists in reality, sourcing from her surroundings, from things that are visible, imaginable and tangible. She sees the world as a puzzle, everything inside it a lesson to learn about life. She is highly creative and thinks outside of the box. She is resourceful and versatile and has an answer for most problems that present themselves. She is a descendant of Mother Earth, good at growing things on the physical plane – be it a beautiful garden, a delicious meal, a family, a successful business and career…

In this reading, she speaks of a situation that has been hard-won and things that have been lost: a person who is in mourning for their passing. For while there has been some measure of success (the measure varying for each person reading this article…), of changing and obtaining: there has also been the need to let go of and lay much aside.

Have you had to sacrifice things that were important to you?

Have you had to walk away from people you love?

Have you had to leave one life behind in order to embrace another?

Have you been working too hard for too long without a break?

Do you have enough fun in your life?

When was the last time you laughed until you collapsed on the floor, ran out of breath, hurt your stomach or cried?

Are you holding onto things that you know you have to release?

Be honest about these things. Ownership is the first step towards resolution.



There is conflict in your life, and repression and denial, and it is standing in the way of your happiness and growth. You have to let go of the past in order to embrace the present. And permit change in the present if you wish to manifest what you desire in the days and the years to come. And while this is hard and requires yet more sadness and sacrifice, it is for the greater good.

Have faith in the universe and trust in a better future. Embrace the help that surrounds you and all of its gifts.



The Ace of Cups card stands for what blocks our path. It tells us what is out of balance, what needs changing and what we need to do in order to right the wrongs revealed in the Queen of Pentacles. It is all about contrasts and opposites; making sure that instead of just the one, we take both presenting roads – allowing and denying, laughing and crying, joining and rejecting, advancing and retreating, depending upon and choosing solitude – filling up with new experiences and opportunities and letting go of those we no longer need.

As a result, there is a lot of turmoil and what feels like an overload of emotions. Life feels intense, everything happening in technicolor: small things, like a simple disagreement, amplified so that inside they feel like World War ll.

Let’s unpick the image slowly to understand why:


Please note: to begin I am reading the card the right way up, telling the story as it is meant to be told. This is not the outcome for the reading we are working on. I am presenting it as a study aid, to help you to gain a more comprehensive understanding of the tarot and to learn as you follow along.

  – lake
  – droplets
  – five jets
• ten * water lilies
ghostly white hand, surrounded by mist
golden cup or chalice
• white coin with a cross in its centre
white bird, either a dove or an eagle
sky light and clear

Imagine the cup as your soul and the hand the ‘Hand of God‘ holding you up and giving you healing, (like reiki only much more powerful). As you receive it you are reconnecting to all that is sacred – remembering what you once knew, where you originally came from, where you have been, how it felt and why you are here. It has appeared out of nowhere to catch you – lest you fall and disappear into the the water below. Or else raise you up out of the edgeless lake you have been swimming in for many years, the carpet of water lilies the only things keeping you afloat. It’s touch is gentle and kind. You feel safe and supported.

While you are receiving this exchange of energy, you are visited by a white dove, which swoops down from the heavens and deposits a single coin in your cup (essentially the crown of your head). You immediately begin to weep, overcome and touched. The dove is an angelic messenger, the coin a holy prayer, the words the sweetest you have ever heard. You release all of the pain from your heart; empty years of hurt and anguish; feel yourself becoming lighter and lighter until you can stay afloat on your own.

His job done, the Dove returns to the sky leaving you in the capable hands of God. God shakes you, waking you from an enchanted sleep. You slowly re-enter the world. Inside you feel alert, alive, deeply rested. You also feel incredible peace.

* see this article on numerology to learn more about the significance of the number ten. Remember to then apply the opposite of these things to this reading: eg. abundance becomes lack, love becomes loneliness, confidence fear, etc…



• card drawn upside down/reversed: crossing your present,
  blocking you from what is best
down-turned, disembodied hand: heavy and pressing
water above your head
lilies like a virus attacking your blood
• five jets, ropes or chords: holding you imprisoned, keeping you suspended
bird flying up into you, invading, like rape
coin – less a gift, more something to shut you up
raining tears

Again, let us consider the cup as your soul and the hand the ‘Hand of God‘; only this time He is the God of the Old Testament, wrathful instead of kind; or else another presence entirely – like a ghost, phantom, spirit attachment, possession or negative chord… Instead of holding you up (see positive scenario…): He, it, is pushing you down, treating you as an obstruction/threat.

Perhaps it resents your desire for expansion and seeks to repress you before you can rise up?

Perhaps you are starting to shine too brightly, challenging its very life?

Perhaps your voice, silent for so long, is now speaking it’s truth and to the hand this is poison?

Look at how you are glued to its centre, rootless and stuck. Note how your base resembles a suction pad. Your stuckness is further amplified by the five jets, which here look more like vines or ropes. You are not releasing tears, emptying out your centre. You are being drip-fed stagnant water.

Imagining myself as the upturned cup (slender-waisted, wide-hipped), I feel like a patient on a mental health ward living off a diet of pills. Here the dove is a well-meaning nurse; the coin a tablet, a concoction of chemicals. I am branded with the letter M, which is the cry of the small me appealing to its supreme mother, begging for salvation and help.

So while I am looking at an image of love, support, compassion, reassurance, healing, forgiveness, rescue, remedy and repair: it is all turned on its head and instead the message coming through is one of sadness, isolation, aloneness and fear; a person living inside a situation or alongside a person that has them trapped.



The Ace of Cups is here to call our attention to the imbalances in our life, encouraging us to pull out and examine all of the constraints that contain us.

Who and what is keeping you small?

Where and when do you lose your strength?

What causes your doubts, your fears, your insecurity..?

Where do you lack love?

The right way up, this card is full of love, support and guidance. This is what you want more of in your life.

However, there is a lack, long overdue, stemming from school, home and childhood.

In opening up and learning to trust again, in re-evaluating your current image of God, in having faith in the universe and calling upon the help of all that surrounds you – friends, family, qualified professionals, your higher self and your guides, etc., you will slowly leave the darkness and move into the light.



The Ace of Cups calls upon you to let go of all that no longer serves you, realising that it is these things and not the universe or God that is letting you down, for in allowing your circumstances and situation to guide you and call the shots, you are in essence allowing life to drain you.

No one has the right to tell you what to do, how to feel or how to behave. Only you control that.

If you are surrounded by negative energy, hurtful remarks, belittling opinions, people who seek to suppress you, etc., you need to exit that environment and return some balance to your life.

You were not born small. God did not intend for you to be powerless. It is only the words and actions of others, the hardship and pain of the world, that has turned your mind.

The Ace of Cups is an invitation: to rise up and take back control of your life, walking with confidence around the beautiful garden that you were given at birth and have, for your entire life, tended and nurtured; to see all of the wonderful things that are yours and know that you have it within you to do anything you want, change anything you don’t like… so long as you set your mind to it and believe in your own power.



You have read this article and found these cards today because they are meant to guide you. Honour yourself with the permission and freedom to really appreciate that.

  1. Write down the answers to all of the questions in this article, then think about how those answers apply to you.
  2. Do your own reading of the cards and compare your answers to the questions in the article to your reading of the cards. 
  3. Make a list of the main points, those that strike you as important. 
  4. Check back in with your notes, first daily and then weekly, to inspire change and healing in your life. 
  5. Ask yourself where you need healing, where you need help, where you need balance and where you need love, then commit to spending half an hour each day towards working to achieve this.


If this article has stirred things up for you or made you realise there are things in your life you would like to resolve, please feel free to visit my contact page or email me me to discuss both these things and the possibility of our working together in the future to accomplish these things.

Or, to book an appointment directly, see my contact page.

To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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