Why does this keep happening to me? 🐞

Ever wondered why – when you are just going about your quiet, polite business – you suddenly get attacked? Or asked: what is it about me that just attracts this kind of behaviour? Ever had your day totally turned upside down by another person’s outburst when all you were doing was minding your own business and trying to be inconspicuous and nice? I think most of us have.

But why does this happen? And why, specifically, is it happening now?

This reading is intended to dial in to the energy of the perpetrator, the he or she who is or has attacked you, in order to better understand it and from there proceed with a bit more compassion for the source. After all, if we better understand our own energy and see him or her not as an antagonist but as a teacher and a guide, life becomes more pleasant and manageable. The medicine, the lesson they are here to help us to learn, is sweeter.

So… why are you attracting this behaviour and why does it keep happening?

The King of Swords is a sad and lonely individual. See how he sits in isolation on the top of an uninhabited hill, perched on the edge of a cliff with no one for company. See how his clothes are heavy and oversized, like they were intended for someone else. His sword too. And his throne is narrow and hard. It is not a comfortable or a family-oriented place. He has great ambition and lofty goals – he seeks to rule and own a kingdom – but just keeping his throne and not getting usurped takes up all of his daily energy. And somehow he doesn’t trust the world or anyone in it anymore, so he can’t let anyone come close in case their softness and goodness rubs off on him and makes him weak. When he attacks you, therefore, it’s not personal. It’s not what you did or said. It’s your energy and light, coupled with his unconscious awareness of your desire to step in and be of service were you to get to know him in any way. He senses your empathy and compassion for all people, your desire to help those who are in need, and this threatens his code and agreement with the world, because if he were to also see all people as good and worthy, then he couldn’t be king, because being king requires that you trample those who are beneath you and consider them underfoot, and you cannot hope to acquire wealth and great fortune unless you are aloof, disassociated and strong. A king lives, after all, off the taxes of the people.

The Seven of Pentacles reveals who the King of Swords used to be, before he lost himself to ambition. This man is the boy next door, a man who has come from humble beginnings and who has big dreams, a man who believes in the universe and in a kind world. But while the king dreams of owning a kingdom and ruling over those whom he considers weak, while he considers his own importance paramount regardless of the cost: the Seven seeks only to own a humble plot and to manage his crop. He too seeks to own and rule over a kingdom, but it is a private one and it has a cap. He would like a few fields, a few vines, enough wealth to manage his land and employ help where necessary, the means to clothe and feed his family and meet their needs. He is the same man as the king, but he is open and trusting and grounded and he does not fear that what is his will be taken if he isn’t always on the offensive and up for a fight.

So now we understand the personality of the energy that is attacking or draining us, and have more compassion for it and understanding of its nature, the Ladybird is here to offer us some wisdom and advice.

  • Accept happiness and good fortune where you find them.
  • Look for the gifts that are scattered subtly and sweetly about your life.
  • Focus on the good things and use them to balance out the things that you don’t like.
  • Practice gratitude daily.
  • And when you have dark forces, chords and entanglements that need to be cleared, turn to the ladybird for help. They are specialised in flapping their wings and flying you back home.

🐞

If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.

🐞

Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add. 

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x

Why am I getting so upset? Dialing into triggers and the truth behind what they are really about. 🧯

Emotional triggers can be difficult to understand and even more to influence because they tend to be automatic, meaning they happen in the heat of the moment before we have a chance to see them coming or intervene.

For example:

When our boss admonishes us at work for something we have done incorrectly… we are cut to the core: the wound is visceral, and we might weep.

Equally, if a waitress is short with us, or a bus driver bemoans us for not having the correct change: we might freeze, losing our voice or else shrink inwards in shame.

These reactions are exaggerated. We are having a large response to a small event. On the physical plane, at least, the trauma is minor. In our minds, however, and energetically, it is immense. It has snatched us up and taken us hostage to an earlier time; an instance where we were treated in a way that didn’t feel safe. This could be being disciplined as a child in a setting where we were forced to be silent. Or the constant daily repetition of being told we aren’t good enough.

Emotional triggers are serious because they rob us of our composure and when we lose it, our foundations are weak. We are strong only when we are ourselves as a fully integrated adult, when we are calm and reserved and grounded in our sense of self and place.

We all have people and things that cause us to lose it. And sometimes we are more than justified in our response. Perhaps we need to stand up for ourselves and exert our boundaries, because if we don’t no one else will. Perhaps we are on the path of learning to treat ourselves with more respect and love. But perhaps, too, this response is harmful, filling us up with excess cortisol and adrenaline, causing our nervous system to go into overdrive.

With all things, there is a balance and getting it right is a skill that constantly needs to be tweaked. Nobody is perfect. Even after years of therapy, I still unravel when the circumstances are right. What we can all do though is learn to see more clearly and endeavour to be more conscious, because the clearer we see and the more conscious we are, the less likely we are to shape shift in the heat of the moment.

The King of Pentacles reveals how we want to experience the world and how we would like to be treated by others.

In this world: we are king. We own a sizeable kingdom, over which we have control. We have everything we need: its presence guaranteed. As such we are comfortable and secure. And we feel protected and provided for.

It’s kind of like how our inner child envisions our life. Or how we wish it was and are always working towards achieving. We get upset, therefore, when we are challenged (our actions, choices, opinions…) because anyone questioning us and our ability threatens the foundations. We do not have deep roots. Any sharp breeze or medium-strength gust could uproot us.

This card indicates that what we most strongly desire – home, sanctuary, love, status, financial security, etc., still eludes us. And suggests that attempting to hold onto what we have managed to accumulate: a property we rent, a job that’s unstable, a partner who we don’t like or who might leave us, etc…? is causing us conflict. In many ways, we feel like an imposter because we are trying to balance two things – what we want and what we have – and it is dividing us, and this is where the triggering occurs. The King of Pentacles reveals this and shows us that we need to make a choice. Do we play it safe and stay where we are, or do we opt for transformation and adventure?

And this is where the Two of Wands comes in. In this card we see a man holding two poles, grappling with a decision. Does he choose the left, representing staying put, or the right, representing action? This here is our trigger. We are unhappy with where we are in our lives. We are tired of all of the compromises. We want mastery and to be in control. We are old enough, surely, and wise enough. We have worked hard thus far. But we are like this man: a peasant standing guard over someone else’s kingdom.

This card is a call to action. Decide to stay put and choose to accept what you have now and where you are and put down all complaints against it, surrendering your free will. Or act, walking away from everything that you know and have built in order to start again.

The Four of Swords is how we move towards a revolution and how we lend support to our triggered parts. In this card we see a tomb inside a sarcophagus, inside of which, we presume, there is a man. This card is suggesting that we allow a part of us time to rest, laying him or her aside for a period. In this sealed and protected space, we can drift into sleep, away from anxiety, worry, fear, concern, drama and conflict. A part of us can take a break, going on an inner retreat. This part isn’t dead, only sleeping, and once he or she is done, rested and recovered, they can be returned to us and our world.

The King of Swords offers us an alternative to the King of Pentacles energy: a new throne, and suggests we work to own it. In this picture the wealth we possess is knowledge and the kingdom we have mastery over is truth. If we can understand that our learning and what we choose to do with it is our power, far more than money ever will be, then we can have freedom from our triggers. Because no one can take the wealth of what we know and choose to believe away from us unless we permit it.

Are you ready to walk this path?

Are you brave enough to make some decisions?

This reading is a call to action, if ever there was one, but if you are here you are ready.

🧯

If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.

🧯

Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add. 

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x