Why am I getting so upset? Dialing into triggers and the truth behind what they are really about. 🧯

Emotional triggers can be difficult to understand and even more to influence because they tend to be automatic, meaning they happen in the heat of the moment before we have a chance to see them coming or intervene.

For example:

When our boss admonishes us at work for something we have done incorrectly… we are cut to the core: the wound is visceral, and we might weep.

Equally, if a waitress is short with us, or a bus driver bemoans us for not having the correct change: we might freeze, losing our voice or else shrink inwards in shame.

These reactions are exaggerated. We are having a large response to a small event. On the physical plane, at least, the trauma is minor. In our minds, however, and energetically, it is immense. It has snatched us up and taken us hostage to an earlier time; an instance where we were treated in a way that didn’t feel safe. This could be being disciplined as a child in a setting where we were forced to be silent. Or the constant daily repetition of being told we aren’t good enough.

Emotional triggers are serious because they rob us of our composure and when we lose it, our foundations are weak. We are strong only when we are ourselves as a fully integrated adult, when we are calm and reserved and grounded in our sense of self and place.

We all have people and things that cause us to lose it. And sometimes we are more than justified in our response. Perhaps we need to stand up for ourselves and exert our boundaries, because if we don’t no one else will. Perhaps we are on the path of learning to treat ourselves with more respect and love. But perhaps, too, this response is harmful, filling us up with excess cortisol and adrenaline, causing our nervous system to go into overdrive.

With all things, there is a balance and getting it right is a skill that constantly needs to be tweaked. Nobody is perfect. Even after years of therapy, I still unravel when the circumstances are right. What we can all do though is learn to see more clearly and endeavour to be more conscious, because the clearer we see and the more conscious we are, the less likely we are to shape shift in the heat of the moment.

The King of Pentacles reveals how we want to experience the world and how we would like to be treated by others.

In this world: we are king. We own a sizeable kingdom, over which we have control. We have everything we need: its presence guaranteed. As such we are comfortable and secure. And we feel protected and provided for.

It’s kind of like how our inner child envisions our life. Or how we wish it was and are always working towards achieving. We get upset, therefore, when we are challenged (our actions, choices, opinions…) because anyone questioning us and our ability threatens the foundations. We do not have deep roots. Any sharp breeze or medium-strength gust could uproot us.

This card indicates that what we most strongly desire – home, sanctuary, love, status, financial security, etc., still eludes us. And suggests that attempting to hold onto what we have managed to accumulate: a property we rent, a job that’s unstable, a partner who we don’t like or who might leave us, etc…? is causing us conflict. In many ways, we feel like an imposter because we are trying to balance two things – what we want and what we have – and it is dividing us, and this is where the triggering occurs. The King of Pentacles reveals this and shows us that we need to make a choice. Do we play it safe and stay where we are, or do we opt for transformation and adventure?

And this is where the Two of Wands comes in. In this card we see a man holding two poles, grappling with a decision. Does he choose the left, representing staying put, or the right, representing action? This here is our trigger. We are unhappy with where we are in our lives. We are tired of all of the compromises. We want mastery and to be in control. We are old enough, surely, and wise enough. We have worked hard thus far. But we are like this man: a peasant standing guard over someone else’s kingdom.

This card is a call to action. Decide to stay put and choose to accept what you have now and where you are and put down all complaints against it, surrendering your free will. Or act, walking away from everything that you know and have built in order to start again.

The Four of Swords is how we move towards a revolution and how we lend support to our triggered parts. In this card we see a tomb inside a sarcophagus, inside of which, we presume, there is a man. This card is suggesting that we allow a part of us time to rest, laying him or her aside for a period. In this sealed and protected space, we can drift into sleep, away from anxiety, worry, fear, concern, drama and conflict. A part of us can take a break, going on an inner retreat. This part isn’t dead, only sleeping, and once he or she is done, rested and recovered, they can be returned to us and our world.

The King of Swords offers us an alternative to the King of Pentacles energy: a new throne, and suggests we work to own it. In this picture the wealth we possess is knowledge and the kingdom we have mastery over is truth. If we can understand that our learning and what we choose to do with it is our power, far more than money ever will be, then we can have freedom from our triggers. Because no one can take the wealth of what we know and choose to believe away from us unless we permit it.

Are you ready to walk this path?

Are you brave enough to make some decisions?

This reading is a call to action, if ever there was one, but if you are here you are ready.

🧯

If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.

🧯

Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add. 

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x

What does my inner child need from me right now and how can I be of better service? 🧃🍦

If you are anything like me, you will have found the past four months deeply triggering: external events and the lack of solid facts waking wounds and insecurities you thought you had healed. As human beings, we need certain things in order to function properly; one of which is control over our lives. We also need to feel financially secure, or at least secure enough so that we can keep a roof over our heads and food on our tables in whatever way that translates for us. And we need people too, to take us out of our heads, to be a mirror to who we are and how we act, and to act as family and community. None of this has been available, at least not in the way we have previously known, and this has challenged, changed and provoked our thinking, seeing and experiencing, along with what we think we can expect to think, feel and experience in the future.

So our inner children are unsettled and creating chaos, because if you were little and suddenly got told by your parents that you couldn’t go out anymore and do the things that you love, or see your friends without wearing a mask for protection and didn’t know if you would still have your house next month, your parents their jobs, and you couldn’t go on holiday or buy new things because money was scarce and needed to be conserved not squandered, you’d be asking to be held and heard too.

So what can we do and how can we help?

The Eight of Swords shows us exactly what our inner child is experiencing and this looks a lot like persecution. The woman in the picture has been cast out, exiled from her rose-coloured castle on the mountain top. Left in the middle of nowhere in a clearing on the edge of the forest; tied up and blindfolded: she is unwanted and imprisoned, or this is how it feels to her.

She experiences this as:

  • nobody cares about me; and
  • I am a burden.

And, to a degree, she is correct. We have abandoned her – because she makes us feel uncomfortable, because she experiences the world viscerally, and in our current position of worry and overwhelm, we do not feel able to accommodate that. We are just about able to hold ourselves together, to contain our current version of self-created reality. To let her in, to experience her in all of her anguish and discomfort, all of her messy rage, is to risk all of that crumbling and with it the full weight of the truth as it comes crashing in. This card is predominantly about difficulties in overcoming restriction. It is a metaphor for both the external world and also the inner one. Look closely at how you feel about the world and how you feel it treats you and then reflect on how you treat your inner child. Could there be synchronicities here? If you were kinder to your inner child, do you think maybe the world, the Grand Mother and Great Father, would in turn be kinder to you?

The Nine of Pentacles shows us what she would prefer and what is possible if we can reintegrate her. We can view this card as a mirror for the previous card, an alternate version of the same reality. Instead of being cast out from the rose-coloured castle, this woman lives happily inside of it, free to move around as she pleases, visiting the garden, tending to the plants, mixing with and befriending the animals. The creatures are her friends here, and the environment works in harmony with her own energy system. She is a co-creator in this landscape. Think how happy and healthy we could be if only we could trust this, if we could open ourselves up to the possibility that our inner child is both our ally and our friend. This card represents success and enjoyment and what could be ours with a little work.

The King of Pentacles is the ultimate goal, for he not only lives in the castle but also owns it. If we can trust in our inner power, in our ability to do and create what we set our hearts to and our minds upon, we can live with our inner children, trusting in our ability to take care of both them and ourselves, all working together to create wealth, health and harmony. If we look at the journey of the cards, all we need in order to feel settled, safe, secure, sane, cheerful, capable and grounded, is to take off the blindfold and trust in our version of the world. Be the creator. Make pretty pictures with grey crayons. This card represents financial stability and security, a future that is waiting to come in when we are ready.

🧃

If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.

🍦

Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add. 

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x