Why am I getting so upset? Dialing into triggers and the truth behind what they are really about. 🧯

Emotional triggers can be difficult to understand and even more to influence because they tend to be automatic, meaning they happen in the heat of the moment before we have a chance to see them coming or intervene.

For example:

When our boss admonishes us at work for something we have done incorrectly… we are cut to the core: the wound is visceral, and we might weep.

Equally, if a waitress is short with us, or a bus driver bemoans us for not having the correct change: we might freeze, losing our voice or else shrink inwards in shame.

These reactions are exaggerated. We are having a large response to a small event. On the physical plane, at least, the trauma is minor. In our minds, however, and energetically, it is immense. It has snatched us up and taken us hostage to an earlier time; an instance where we were treated in a way that didn’t feel safe. This could be being disciplined as a child in a setting where we were forced to be silent. Or the constant daily repetition of being told we aren’t good enough.

Emotional triggers are serious because they rob us of our composure and when we lose it, our foundations are weak. We are strong only when we are ourselves as a fully integrated adult, when we are calm and reserved and grounded in our sense of self and place.

We all have people and things that cause us to lose it. And sometimes we are more than justified in our response. Perhaps we need to stand up for ourselves and exert our boundaries, because if we don’t no one else will. Perhaps we are on the path of learning to treat ourselves with more respect and love. But perhaps, too, this response is harmful, filling us up with excess cortisol and adrenaline, causing our nervous system to go into overdrive.

With all things, there is a balance and getting it right is a skill that constantly needs to be tweaked. Nobody is perfect. Even after years of therapy, I still unravel when the circumstances are right. What we can all do though is learn to see more clearly and endeavour to be more conscious, because the clearer we see and the more conscious we are, the less likely we are to shape shift in the heat of the moment.

The King of Pentacles reveals how we want to experience the world and how we would like to be treated by others.

In this world: we are king. We own a sizeable kingdom, over which we have control. We have everything we need: its presence guaranteed. As such we are comfortable and secure. And we feel protected and provided for.

It’s kind of like how our inner child envisions our life. Or how we wish it was and are always working towards achieving. We get upset, therefore, when we are challenged (our actions, choices, opinions…) because anyone questioning us and our ability threatens the foundations. We do not have deep roots. Any sharp breeze or medium-strength gust could uproot us.

This card indicates that what we most strongly desire – home, sanctuary, love, status, financial security, etc., still eludes us. And suggests that attempting to hold onto what we have managed to accumulate: a property we rent, a job that’s unstable, a partner who we don’t like or who might leave us, etc…? is causing us conflict. In many ways, we feel like an imposter because we are trying to balance two things – what we want and what we have – and it is dividing us, and this is where the triggering occurs. The King of Pentacles reveals this and shows us that we need to make a choice. Do we play it safe and stay where we are, or do we opt for transformation and adventure?

And this is where the Two of Wands comes in. In this card we see a man holding two poles, grappling with a decision. Does he choose the left, representing staying put, or the right, representing action? This here is our trigger. We are unhappy with where we are in our lives. We are tired of all of the compromises. We want mastery and to be in control. We are old enough, surely, and wise enough. We have worked hard thus far. But we are like this man: a peasant standing guard over someone else’s kingdom.

This card is a call to action. Decide to stay put and choose to accept what you have now and where you are and put down all complaints against it, surrendering your free will. Or act, walking away from everything that you know and have built in order to start again.

The Four of Swords is how we move towards a revolution and how we lend support to our triggered parts. In this card we see a tomb inside a sarcophagus, inside of which, we presume, there is a man. This card is suggesting that we allow a part of us time to rest, laying him or her aside for a period. In this sealed and protected space, we can drift into sleep, away from anxiety, worry, fear, concern, drama and conflict. A part of us can take a break, going on an inner retreat. This part isn’t dead, only sleeping, and once he or she is done, rested and recovered, they can be returned to us and our world.

The King of Swords offers us an alternative to the King of Pentacles energy: a new throne, and suggests we work to own it. In this picture the wealth we possess is knowledge and the kingdom we have mastery over is truth. If we can understand that our learning and what we choose to do with it is our power, far more than money ever will be, then we can have freedom from our triggers. Because no one can take the wealth of what we know and choose to believe away from us unless we permit it.

Are you ready to walk this path?

Are you brave enough to make some decisions?

This reading is a call to action, if ever there was one, but if you are here you are ready.

🧯

If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.

🧯

Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add. 

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x

What is blocking me right now? 🤹🏻‍♀️

It’s natural to experience blocks as we travel through life. Most of us will experience at least one block on any given day. It could be you wake up late, you sleep badly, your water is off and you can’t take a morning shower. It could be your car breaks down, your meeting is rescheduled, you have to cancel dinner to stay late at work. It could be your date doesn’t show up, your boyfriend wants to break up, your husband is unhappy and wants a separation. It could be you ruin your diet, avoid the gym, have an argument with someone close to you. It could be a minor health complaint, or a major one. It could be a PANDEMIC!!!

Blocks take many forms – some easy, some hard, some friendly, some antagonistic, some gentle, some fierce, some barely noticeable, some life altering… What is your biggest block today, and where are you currently getting stuck?

The Page of Wands is a positive and a happy card. The page is a student of life, an innocent child, a foolish (or carefree) adventurer. He has an idea, a desire, and he is unafraid of reaching and working towards it. He is strongly grounded in what he wants and led by his intuition. He is happy to experiment and play in order to get there. He is all about creativity and birthing things.

But is your new idea or project taking up too much space, to the detriment of everything else? Are you dropping the other balls and plates (that you are juggling and spinning) because of it? The thing that is blocking you here is not a bad thing. It’s simply the fact that it’s the only thing that’s getting your attention these days.

The Ten of Wands reinforces this message, showing us a man bent over under a heavy load, warning us that we are attempting to carry too much and are in danger of breaking. The Page is excited and enjoying the journey but he isn’t looking to the future. The Ten has a future image in front of him, mapping out his desire – nice house, good location, financial security, etc. – but he is working so hard to keep up and move forwards that he is missing out on his life in the moment, unable to see what it is all for. One is focussing only on the ‘right now’ to the detriment of the future, and the is other working so hard towards some future goal it’s become concealed in the distance.

Reevaluate all that you are carrying. Work out what you might need to put down or cast aside in order to accommodate more safely and securely the new thing you have picked up. You don’t need to pause or stop pursuing the new dream, you just need to reassess all of your responsibilities and delegate or retire some things.

🤹🏻‍♀️

If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.

There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.

🤹🏻‍♀️

Have a browse, give me a thumbs up, subscribe and leave a comment if you have anything you would like to share, ask or add.

Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x

The Ten of Wands

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INTRODUCTION:

This is a one-card reading with the pulled card representing the present. The deck used is the Sharman-Caselli.

Notice how we have yet another Wand card *, as if the suit is haunting me, along with my current clients and all those who read this.

* other Wand cards: IV, Queen, IX, VIII, Page

Questions:

  1. What is the purpose of this?
  2. Why is it happening?
  3. What is this suit, in particular, trying to say?

*

OVERVIEW:

Think about the energy of the Wands and about what, in their journey, they are revealing:

• travel
• adventure
• growth
• venture
• creative projects

Think about trees and wood and what they symbolise:

• strength
• grounding
• permenance/endurance
• stability
• solitude
• shelter/protection
• connection _between above and below
• life

Think about growth from beneath the ground, shoots emerging after winter, colour and life errupting from months of poverty. Think about giving birth to new things, creating out of nothing, building structures from hopes and dreams. Think about how the tree, after it has been turned into wood, can be used to build fires and make heat, comforting and protecting. Think about how this same wood can be used to make tools, weapons, vehicles, furniture, etc.

Questions:

  1. What do trees mean to you?
  2. What does wood symbolise in your life and where does it feature?
  3. Where do you interact with, use them?
  4. What is their personality, their energy?

Exercise 1:

Imagine your favourite tree. Give it a face, a temperament, a personality and a character. Give it a name and an age. Give it a history and a background and a mini bio. Make it real, like a person. Pad it out, stuff it with details.

Questions:

  1. What is this tree trying to tell you?
  2. What message can you take from it?

Exercise 2:

Imagine a loved piece of wood: an item, an object, a piece of furniture… Give it a face, a temperament, a personality and a character. Give it a name and an age. Give it a history and a background and a mini bio. Make it real, like a person. Pad it out, stuff it with details.

Questions:

  1. Where does the energy and essence of it feature in your life?
  2. What does it, as a substance, mean to you?

Perhaps you have a favourite table that you sit at to work, read or eat? Perhaps you have a chair that you have cherished since childhood? Perhaps you have a fixation with collecting wooden animals, boxes, pencils, etc? Wood is everywhere but maybe you don’t see it.

I’m sitting at a wooden table now, one of several in a café I like. I sit at this table or one similar to it most days. It’s where I go to study and write. And yet today is the first day I have noticed it’s height, width, colour, texture; the first time I have truely honoured it. It’s a lovely table: simple, solid and elegant. I feel comfortable and safe sitting behind it. For me, it represents interaction, grounding, security, connection and sustenance. When I sit here I am welcomed, waited upon, protected and part of something bigger than myself.

Questions:

  1. What about you?
  2. What are your stories?

The Wands are typically associated with our hopes, goals, dreams, etc. Twinned with passion, hard work, creativity, ambition, growth on a personal level and adventure. In other words, they are all about challenge, both facing and overcoming, and learning when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’.

The ten of wands, especially, draws our attention to this, showing us a man who has said ‘yes’ far too much and who perhaps doesn’t know the meaning of ‘no’. Because of this, he is tired and no longer wishes to keep travelling.

How do you feature in this story? That is what is relevant here.

*

KEYWORDS:

Like all cards, the Ten of Wands is two-sided. And, depending on how you read it and how it is pulled, it means very different things.

On the flip-side of the positive aspects already mentioned: aspects related to the whole suit; those below are purely related to the Ten of Wands and this card and character’s particular journey.

Specific Ten of Wands themes:

• burden
• struggle
• exhaustion
• overextention
• overwhelm

If you are doing or feeling any of the above (or similar), then you are over-doing and pushing in the opposite direction to wellbeing. Be careful, therefore, of what you commit to: whether it’s shouldering all of the labour, working overtime, assuming another’s responsibility or taking on an external debt.

Make sure you make time to relax, see friends, take a walk, exercise, watch television, read, go to the cinema, etc. Things that fill you back up. This is important: you need these things for perspective so that you and others who know you can keep you on track. Very often the danger when we are wearing ourselves thin, is not that we are trapped into something that is inescapable or beyond our control to fix, but that we are unaware or unable to see/realise the situation we are in until it is far too late to A) do anything about it, or B) halt it in its tracks and we have, as a result, crashed or imploded.

*

IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS:

We will now look at the card as a picture and independent from the suit, stepping inside the landscape and the characters to unpack the full meaning of what we are:

  1. endevouring to do
  2. attempting to avoid


The Ten of Wands shows us a man travelling through the desert with a heavy load on his back, much like as if he were a donkey. It is too much for one individual to be carrying alone and he is noticeably struggling. He has been travelling for a long time, lots of lonely months, and although there have been companions, mentors, employees… ultimately, the responsibility and task are his alone. And, because this is a journey without a specific end – there is a ‘B Point‘ with an attached desired outcome but no actual date upon which it will or must be accomplished – this is hard.

Observing, we can imagine the sweat on his brow, the perspiration on his body, the blisters on this hands and feet. We can see how weary he looks and how stooped. But even though he longs to lay down everything that was once wonderful but which has now become a blight and rest a little while before picking up and walking on, he cannot: something inside compels him to continue and he is helpless to retaliate.

It _the something that compells from inside_ is the:

• tyrant
• jailor
• punisher
• people-pleaser
• performer
• perfectionist
• helper
• healer
• servant
• good child

* pick the one or ones that apply to you

The man plods on, uncomplaining and compliant: feet sinking, legs resisting, heart sad. He is familiar with this sensation of being alone and of having too many things to contend with. He has felt like this his entire life, as if there is a hole inside that nothing in the world can fill – no person, substance, thing, activity – and looking to counter it, he has always said ‘yes’ when asked for help and never really said ‘no’: to do so would be to risk alienating those he needs in his life, those whose love he depends upon. He does not trust that without his generousity and openness of heart, they would still be there.

To his rear, there is a gecko/lizard – which some consider to be a salamander. And, while I would ideally like to embrace the positive energy of this creature: its message of new life, its symbolism of rebirth and renewed energy; I don’t feel guided to do so here.

To me, the gecko is more like a gremlin, whispering putdowns, muttering negatives, criticising and judging; convincing us that we aren’t old enough, good enough, clever enough or experienced enough to do the thing we desire most in the world to do. It is the reason why the man cannot stop, not even for a minute: for if he relaxes his grip, slows his pace, breaks with his steady plod… the gremlin will start screaming
 
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…until he is entirely drained of all that remains of his inner strength and energy and thus unable to summon the will to get up and resume.

In my mind, I see him with a long, slender whip or a hot, fiery poker beating the man into submission like he is a horse or a slave.

It _the gecko/lizard_ is your:

• ego
• inner critic
• shadow
• internalised:
  – partner
  – boss
  – mother
  – father
  – colleague
  – friend
• nemesis

* pick the one or ones that apply to you

 
Returning to the desert that forms the backdrop for this card, we are presented with a landscape that is dry and exposed: no shade, shelter, water or cloud cover. It is not a hospitable environment and cannot be survived, not without due care and careful planning ahead – none of which the man is able to do.

If he could, he would:

  • never have agreed to take on so much
  • stopped before:
    • his arms became full
    • he had more than he could comfortably manage
    • he started losing things that were important to hold onto

     
    However, despite this, he has and is still doing well. It is not a landscape for the faint-hearted. He has proved his worth. He has faced and overcome many challenges. He has done better than others in his situation might have done. Clearly, he is deserving of the rewards. It is the personal cost that’s alarming.

    It _the desert_ is the backdrop for your:

    • work
    • business
    • home life
    • love life
    • family

    * pick the one or ones that apply to you

     
    In the distance, there is a lonely castle set upon a hill: lonely because there is nothing else for miles around. This is ‘Point B’ and although he doesn’t yet know what lies there or why it is so important that he reaches it: the man knows that it is a vital part of what he has started and fundamental to the story of his life. He has sacrificed much to get here and is prepared to sacrifice more still: whatever it takes; his dreams are that important and he believes in them that much.

    Think about the castle and what, with your ‘wands/sticks’, you are hoping to achieve.

    Think about what you envisage happening when you arrive.

    Questions:

    1. How will you feel?
    2. What will you see?
    3. What will you gain?
    4. What will be different from now?
    5. What will no longer be a burden?

    *

    SUMMARY:

    This card is a message to focus on the goal and to be mindful of the initial intention/challenge. It is also a memo to check and monitor your inner resources and repoint if you have gone off course.

    Questions:

    1. How much energy do you have right now?
    2. Do you feel like you are overextending, burning yourself at both ends?
    3. Do parts of your body ache?
    4. Is your heart cracked or broken?
    5. Is there a sadness inside you that feels like it’s coming from your soul?

     
    These are all important pointers towards things on inside that are no longer correctly aligned, allerting us to potential disaster before it descends.

    Perhaps you have developed a rash? Perhaps you have persistent headaches? Perhaps your left foot hurts or else your stomach is cramped? Maybe you feel tired? Maybe you feel depressed? Maybe you can no longer sleep? Whatever the case: if there is something emotional or a physical clinging to your being, something that wasn’t previously there, this is the reminder and the time to check it out.

    Don’t wait until crisis hits. Don’t wait until you are incapacitated and/or crumble. Act now and avoid detriment.

    *

    CHALLENGE:

    Go back to the start. Recall what you intended. Run through it again to make sure you are clear. Check in to confirm that you are still on track, still striving in the right direction… If you are not, this is the time to modify and alter. It’s not a cause for concern; just a message to revise and repoint so as to avoid things like:

    • stress
    • strain
    • anxiety
    • exhaustion
    • low spirits and energy

    Think about the reward waiting for you and how good reaching it will feel. Think about what you have had to overcome in order to arrive. Think about the lessons, experiences and people you have met along the way. Think about how much you have grown and how much you have healed. Take away the positive message of this card and focus on realigning and improving and taking more care of you. It is a message of self-love, gently alerting you to an area of lack.

    Accept the invitation to come home to yourself and you will reap the rewards when you step inside. Sometimes overexertion, exhaustion, illness due to overwork or stress, burnout and mental collapse are the ugly packages concealing the greatest gifts.

    *

    HOMEWORK:

    You have read this article and found these cards today because they are meant to guide you. Honour yourself with the permission and freedom to really appreciate that.

    This means reading through the article again from the very beginning and taking the time to record not just your answers to the questions posed but also your thoughts around and in response, paying particular attention to how you feel inside, what you are currently thinking, any memories that came up and/or people you were reminded of.

    Then, looking back over these notes and the card on a regular basis to check in, using this disciplined exercise as your motivation to implement the necessary modifications and changes in your life.

    To do this:

    1. Write down the answers to all of the questions in this article, then think about how those answers apply to you.
    2. Do your own reading of the cards and compare your answers to the questions in the article to your reading of the cards.
    3. Make a list of the main points, those that strike you as important.
    4. Check back in with your notes, first daily and then weekly, to inspire change and healing in your life.
    5. Ask yourself where you need healing, help, balance and love, then commit to spending half an hour each day towards working to achieve this.

    ~

    If this article has stirred things up for you or made you realise there are things in your life you would like to resolve, please feel free to visit my contact page or email me me to discuss both these and the possibility of our working together in the future.

    Or, to book an appointment directly, see my contact page.

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    To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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