Three years ago I woke up, shifting from one version of my adult self to another. Perhaps it was a long overdue relinquishing of the maiden archetype I was inhabiting and carrying, entry into the domain of the mother archetype? Or simply a moment that was waiting to happen at some point on my timeline? I only know that it was abrupt and painful and that it lasted a while.

During this period, everything changed: things that had worked previously broke, while things that were dormant came to life. And while I couldn’t think, read or write and socialising and going out at all was daunting and I mostly slept because I had no energy and every body part hurt: I began to see, smell, taste, touch and feel in a new and way more intense way.

We all experience ups and downs. At some point, chances are we are all going to get a little or a lot sick. When this happens, Tarot gives you a map. I like to think of it like a guardian angel whispering in your ear. You pull a card, receive a message and through it know that you are not alone: there is a path, a purpose; each unique. Ours is not to question why but simply to surrender. The more you do, bit by not, slowly, the easier it gets.

The journey from waking to where I am today was long and difficult, and each day still requires mindfulness in its travelling. Life is certainly more of an effort, but time is revealing better days. Entry into a new era: all this has been a learning curve; to stop serves no purpose, rewinding is not an option, lamenting will only make me sad. My rage, which was mighty, has been and gone. Perhaps I got a little burned, but the foundation remains. Something that has come to have great value is my routine; most specifically, my spiritual one: meditation, yoga, tarot, working with crystals and flower essences, prayer and channeling.

I begin each day with a deck and my most pressing question. The card I select becomes my mantra for the next 24 hours. I carry it with me, either in a pocket or in my bra, taking it out every half hour or so to contemplate and briefly annotate. At some point I sit down, pull out my journal and write, allowing my consciousness to flow through me. Later, I return to this, and reply; answering questions, posing my own. At the end of the day, I turn to yoga. Yoga grounds this: I dance it, breathe into it, make it into a stretch and a pose. After, meditation takes it deeper, allowing the image and what it represents to come alive. This is a very personal relationship. It never fails to amaze me how apt the cards are.

At the beginning I was wary because cards like The Tower and Death kept coming up. As I’ve taken their advice and healed, allowing dead layers to fall away, my attitude has changed and I’ve stopped only wanting to hear when the forecast and prognosis is sunny and bright. For truth, while not always pretty, is always right.

Avoidance only delays what must inevitably be dealt with, denial pressing mute on what is already in existence or is about to arrive.

Exercise:

1. Go to your favourite deck now, or the deck you are guided to.
2. Take out the cards.
3. Knock on them to clear them and then hold them tightly in both of your hands.
4. Closing your eyes, ask your question. I like to make mine a prayer and then, after, bring the deck to my heart in an act of surrender and gratitude.
5. Return the cards to the front and shuffle until a card reveals itself: flipping, peaking, slipping, leaping, etc.
6. Thank the deck, the energy it brought forth and your guides (if you called them), respectfully returning all but the single card to its box and shelf.
7. Spend a few minutes with your card, reacting to it both mentally and energetically.

Think about:

1. Who or what it is it about?
2. Where is it set, and in what season?
3. The emotion it conveys?
4. What part of your body and your life is it referring to?
5. Does it have a colour, a smell, a texture, a taste?
6. Is it fast or slow, hot or cold, smooth or rough?

Jot down these initial responses to come back to later: they form the framework for your interpretation. You will try to get away and even to change. Use these to help you not do this. For example: If you think the card is Sam: the card is Sam; you oughtn’t to change it to Sarah simply because you’d prefer that. You can, but then the healing is hidden, the learning lost.

Tarot teaches us in difficult ways. As a mother it is TOUGH LOVE.

If you are brave enough to receive the gift it is giving, you can provide a parent for your adult self, bringing healing to all of your pieces.

Try out my way of working with the cards for a week, following the above guidelines and prompts. See what you learn and let me know how you get on. If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them. And if you would like to have a professional reading with me for more depth, or perhaps to help you unravel what your own exploration and digging has brought up, I would love to help you.

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If this article has stirred things up for you or made you realise there are things in your life you would like to resolve, please feel free to visit my contact page or email me me to discuss both these things and the possibility of our working together in the future to accomplish these things. I work with animals as well as people and I even have dog tarot cards…

Or, to book an appointment directly, see my contact page.

To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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