No. 62. At the core: what’s the matter with your Matter?

By this I don’t mean what’s the matter now; what ails or hurts, withholds or greaves. I mean what’s the existential matter with your Matter: the key, the kernel, the heart, the centre, the core. Or in other words… what did you as a thought seed, an angel, a pre-sentient being, sign up to heal? What was your sacred contract?

.

If you are not on track, still searching, or currently stopped or blocked: chances are you are unhappy on some level, smiling on the surface while inside there is a deep hole. For the afflicted, this feels terrible. It exists; it persists… never going away – like a nagging thought with an escalating voice, a Jiminy Cricket-style conscious hollering in your ear.

  1. What is that voice?
  2. Is it right to listen to what it has to say?
  3. Is it truth as truth pertains to you, or does it lie?

.

In order to find out, it is necessary to tune in. And to listen with patience, compassion and a bit of self-awareness… sifting past all of the other voices: the internalised mother, father, brother, sister, friend, enemy, teacher, boss…., etc., to get to the heart of things, the message coming from your soul.

Identifying what the Matter is is all about tuning in. Listen to that voice that you are here to hear. Accommodate that information and wisdom, even if it’s not palatable.

We don’t want to know that sugar is bad, drugs dangerous, tv thinly-veiled brainwashing… but we accept it when we are told and if we love ourselves and are working towards being respectful we try to quit.

I go to the gym not because I want to but because I know that it is good for my health. In return my body allows me certain leniencies: as many raw chocolate brownies as I like, my morning lacto-free latté, gluten-free bread, the occasional glass of x, y, z… And while I might sometimes feel resentful (hey, no one’s perfect are they and I kind of like the way Malteasers® taste and melt), when I do rebel I’m usually disappointed and realise pretty quickly I’m not missing out. Malteasers® will not change my life. At least not in a helpful way anyways.

.

In our heart we know what’s best. And we know that at the heart of it we are not here to enjoy. Life is not one big party. We are not here on a joyride. It’s like school. We are here because we want to learn. Some lessons are easy. Others are hard. To get to the top, to stand all peaceful and enlightened at the peak of the mountain, it is necessary to take them all.

When we get stuck, it’s because we are selectively picking instead of accommodating all. The TEN OF WANDS is a reminder of this, gently nudging you to remember. You are here to pick everything up, to accommodate all. And while some are here to carry less, perhaps only one or two separate burdens, wands… you are an older, hardier soul, further along on your planetary travels, capable of and contracted to carrying more.

The figure on the card is stooped, sad, exhausted.

  1. Relate?
  2. Empathise?
  3. Know how that feels?

.

If you are burning out it’s no wonder. It’s a lot.

  1. But isn’t the world also burning out?
  2. Hasn’t mankind done a good job of destroying it and everything else?

 
The role of the awakened is to look deeper; see more, and act.

Your burdens, your pain, your individual journey of constantly picking things up, suffering and struggling… has given you a knowing only available to a few. And it’s a precious gift.

  1. Use it to help the world.
  2. Use it to reach out and help one another.
  3. Be like Mother Earth, taking in and embracing, holding inside until it is healed.
  4. Use your skills.

.

This is your journey, your purpose, the Matter of you. Reward comes when we are true to ourselves. Help is given when stop fighting and trying to change and accept where and what we are.

Trust that you are protected.
Know that you are loved.
Believe that the support you need and want is there waiting for you to realise, surrender, let go and reach out.

.

Use the essence depicted to aid you in your progress and healing.

This card contains MUSTARD to cheer you up on the days when you feel burdened, grumpy and glum. Being a lightworker is not an easy job. It’s hard to always be bright and breezy and full of light. Even the en-lightened have bad days now and then. And sometimes often. It’s okay (on occasion) to feel blue. Mustard will help you be yellow again. And green too, if you want.

.

The decks used are the Dreaming Way Tarot by Kwon Shina and Rome Choi.


And the Bach Flower Oracle Cards by Susanne Winberg.


 
Click on the links * to buy your own.

* Prices referenced are the cheapest available at the time posted.

~

If this article has stirred things up for you or made you realise there are things in your life you would like to resolve, please feel free to visit my contact page or email me me to discuss both these and the possibility of our working together in the future.

Or, to book an appointment directly, see my contact page.

~

>> See what other people are saying.

To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

To keep up to date with my progress and receive love and light in your inbox, sign up to my newsletter …………..yes please!

• Ask me a question or book an appointment
Buy remedies, healing aides and helpful accessories
• Check out my Etsy shop to see what else I do

The past relaxed (instead of the past tense)


Introduction:

So I’ve relocated to Palma de Mallorca for a while, having been granted a stay of absence after serving out my time in Central London, England. Twelve months for my sins!!! Did I really commit that many wrongs??? Or was it more that those wrongs were wrongs from a past life, or all of my lives long-since-gone before… and, as I have often felt; even more so recently: in this life it was my choice, my destiny, to attone for and fix them all?

I’ve sensed since way back, since when I could first remember… that I came here to resolve; that I am the one to put a stop to the continuation of a great many things:

• the things that impacted me growing up,
• and the things that impact me still…

And I’ve tried to, as much as I could.

Yet there are boulders that remain, walls that will not fall; patterns and behaviours that, consciousness and open, actively working upon, even I am guilty of repeating. We are all, to some extent, mini-me’s of those who made us. They mini-me’s of those who made them. And if the ‘me’ who planted the seed of your family tree was a ‘me’ beset by complex and neurosis: it stands to reason hundreds of years on, you too are a ‘me’ beset by complex and neurosis. But we can try. And there is both peace and joy to be found in the process and the journey of trying.

~

Action:

1. What are your emotional blocks, triggers and issues…?
2. What would you most like to resolve?
3. What stressful bad or ugly would you – if you had a magic wand
   like Hermione Granger…
like to erase or make go away?

Personally, I can think of many… But this is about you.

So have a think, write it down, make it solid: so that you can then (with it as a point of focus, a thing to still and then fixate upon) take it and dissect it and pull it into pieces. Apart things are easier to face than those that remain rigid and solid, containing less ferocity in their energy than those left untouched. And dissecting is the first part of the process of unravelling and healing.

There are those who would protest to this level of detail and perhaps protracted length of analysis, asserting that it is better to heal in blindness and ignorance, claiming that pain, instead, can be removed simply by painting by numbers: this problem requires this solution, that problem that… And it can. Only in my experience – accumulated over many years with the help of both my own curiousity and exertion and the help of many experienced practitioner and therapist – pain removed without clarity and dialogue, without knowledge of ‘what’ and ‘why’, is pain that leaves leaving a root. A garden can be weeded, sprayed with chemicals, ploughed, etc… but unless the source of the thing you are trying to remove is found and then extracted, the bit that’s left is inclined to recover and, shortly thereafter, regrow. How often do we tend to a headache only to have it return? Or treat an aching limb to a massage to have it feel equally as bad the following day?

Only recently I addressed a pain in my chest, a tension and a tightness that had no business being there. And, because I attempted to appease and release it a novel way, a way that was different to anything that I had read about or experienced before (part of a personal experiment, an experiment to further growth), it went and then returned, reduced but not (as desired, as required for the continuation of my emotional wellbeing and overall physical ease, entirely absent. Roots are stubbornly inclined and have a tendency to remain hidden in order to re-emerge, putting forth shoots that effortlessly grow back into bushes and trees.

So:

• find it, name it, own it, claim it,
• reach out and touch it,
• pick it up and hold it in you hands,
• look down upon it and smile, thinking only of gentleness and feeling only love,
• speak to it as if it were a child… and, in a journal or a notebook,
  write down its reply.

Then, if you can:

• place that book over your heart and press it up against your chest with
  both palms facing down,
• then sit or lie comfortably and close your eyes and still your breathing,
• inhale and exhale deeply – visualising white light entering, black light
  leaving, focusing your thoughts on cleaning and clearing, letting go of
  all undesirable things.

I like to see the white light as Heaven-sent, the black as a long but obedient serpent (Harry Potter style). With my mind’s eye concentrated on connecting – to God, to Angels; to fairies, friendly spirits and other benevolent beings – I draw down the power of the Universe and fill myself up. Think of it like a download of unconditional love, with enough magic and mojo thrown in to completely heal and clear you of everything that is antagonistic to your essential nature and highest good. If it helps, you can picture the white light as water or rain and (if you are good at visualising), even feel it as it pours onto and over you, covering you from head to foot.

This is a great daily exercise which:

• with practice and devotion,
• with focused attention and genuine desire,

…yields big results. Especially if combined with other techniques:

• music
• essential oils
• crystals
• flower essences
• herbal infusions
• light
• movement and breathwork
• smudging…

Music can do wonders for the soul and, alone, be excellent therapy.

Smell is a powerful stimulent, different essential oils shifting and releasing unwanted emotions and energetic imbalances.

You can use crystals to address specific concerns, like exhaustion, grief, anger, anxiety, pain…

A stick of incense, palo santo wood or sage can clear negative energy from either you or a space, removing anything that has become stuck. We collect energy from every interaction and experience. Both good and bad, it all impacts us and, if ignorant to that fact or else dismissive of it, we can become anxiety-riddled, sick, toxic and polluted, without ever reaslising that it’s got very little to do with us.

I like to put essential oils on my wrist points, inhaling as I draw my attention inwards; using them as an aid to relaxing and slowing down, as well as a tool for inward focus and an awareness of how each separate part of me feels.

I also like to light a candle and dedicate it to specific guides, asking them to protect me while I work.

And I have a prayer blanket, created with love, that covers me.

What you choose is up to you and it will be different for every person.

Trust your intuition and follow what you are drawn towards. Your body knows best. Listen to that ‘belly’ brain, the one just above your navel, combining it with what you hear and feel in your heart. And don’t overthink, because it’s that brain, the thinking brain, that got you into trouble in the first place. No offence to the ego (bless it and all that… it means well), but most of what ails us is there as a result of that conscious part attempting to control and maintain authority over the older, deeper, more authentic soft and squishy parts underneath.

So:

• honour your inner baby and talk to your inner child,
• love your difficult and often overwhelmed adult,

…picking up the crumbs of potential and possibility and following where they lead, remaining, as you do so, open and receptive to all manner of majesty and magic.

To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

To keep up to date with my progress and receive love and light in your inbox, send me your email address.

Ask me a question or book an appointment
Buy remedies, healing aides and helpful accessories
• Check out my Etsy Shop to see what else I do