No. 62. At the core: what’s the matter with your Matter?

By this I don’t mean what’s the matter now; what ails or hurts, withholds or greaves. I mean what’s the existential matter with your Matter: the key, the kernel, the heart, the centre, the core. Or in other words… what did you as a thought seed, an angel, a pre-sentient being, sign up to heal? What was your sacred contract?


If you are not on track, still searching, or currently stopped or blocked: chances are you are unhappy on some level, smiling on the surface while inside there is a deep hole. For the afflicted, this feels terrible. It exists; it persists… never going away – like a nagging thought with an escalating voice, a Jiminy Cricket-style conscious hollering in your ear.

  1. What is that voice?
  2. Is it right to listen to what it has to say?
  3. Is it truth as truth pertains to you, or does it lie?


In order to find out, it is necessary to tune in. And to listen with patience, compassion and a bit of self-awareness… sifting past all of the other voices: the internalised mother, father, brother, sister, friend, enemy, teacher, boss…., etc., to get to the heart of things, the message coming from your soul.

Identifying what the Matter is is all about tuning in. Listen to that voice that you are here to hear. Accommodate that information and wisdom, even if it’s not palatable.

We don’t want to know that sugar is bad, drugs dangerous, tv thinly-veiled brainwashing… but we accept it when we are told and if we love ourselves and are working towards being respectful we try to quit.

I go to the gym not because I want to but because I know that it is good for my health. In return my body allows me certain leniencies: as many raw chocolate brownies as I like, my morning lacto-free latté, gluten-free bread, the occasional glass of x, y, z… And while I might sometimes feel resentful (hey, no one’s perfect are they and I kind of like the way Malteasers® taste and melt), when I do rebel I’m usually disappointed and realise pretty quickly I’m not missing out. Malteasers® will not change my life. At least not in a helpful way anyways.


In our heart we know what’s best. And we know that at the heart of it we are not here to enjoy. Life is not one big party. We are not here on a joyride. It’s like school. We are here because we want to learn. Some lessons are easy. Others are hard. To get to the top, to stand all peaceful and enlightened at the peak of the mountain, it is necessary to take them all.

When we get stuck, it’s because we are selectively picking instead of accommodating all. The TEN OF WANDS is a reminder of this, gently nudging you to remember. You are here to pick everything up, to accommodate all. And while some are here to carry less, perhaps only one or two separate burdens, wands… you are an older, hardier soul, further along on your planetary travels, capable of and contracted to carrying more.

The figure on the card is stooped, sad, exhausted.

  1. Relate?
  2. Empathise?
  3. Know how that feels?


If you are burning out it’s no wonder. It’s a lot.

  1. But isn’t the world also burning out?
  2. Hasn’t mankind done a good job of destroying it and everything else?

The role of the awakened is to look deeper; see more, and act.

Your burdens, your pain, your individual journey of constantly picking things up, suffering and struggling… has given you a knowing only available to a few. And it’s a precious gift.

  1. Use it to help the world.
  2. Use it to reach out and help one another.
  3. Be like Mother Earth, taking in and embracing, holding inside until it is healed.
  4. Use your skills.


This is your journey, your purpose, the Matter of you. Reward comes when we are true to ourselves. Help is given when stop fighting and trying to change and accept where and what we are.

Trust that you are protected.
Know that you are loved.
Believe that the support you need and want is there waiting for you to realise, surrender, let go and reach out.


Use the essence depicted to aid you in your progress and healing.

This card contains MUSTARD to cheer you up on the days when you feel burdened, grumpy and glum. Being a lightworker is not an easy job. It’s hard to always be bright and breezy and full of light. Even the en-lightened have bad days now and then. And sometimes often. It’s okay (on occasion) to feel blue. Mustard will help you be yellow again. And green too, if you want.


The decks used are the Dreaming Way Tarot by Kwon Shina and Rome Choi.

And the Bach Flower Oracle Cards by Susanne Winberg.

Click on the links * to buy your own.

* Prices referenced are the cheapest available at the time posted.


If this article has stirred things up for you or made you realise there are things in your life you would like to resolve, please feel free to visit my contact page or email me me to discuss both these and the possibility of our working together in the future.

Or, to book an appointment directly, see my contact page.


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To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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