79: HELPING AND HEALING MY ROOT CHAKRA (THE SIX OF SWORDS)
❤️
When the body is out of balance; when we don’t feel energetically strong, safe and grounded within ourselves: life becomes out of balance too, and things that wouldn’t normally upset or get to us do. The SIX OF SWORDS is all about taking care of the susceptible, sensitive you; sitting with her and staying with her while the more hardy, capable you navigates a potentially difficult situation, remaining patient, calm, loving and kind, having faith, hope and resilience, until you see and reach better land. Think about swords as a symbol and as a suit. What do they represent and what they could be in your life right now? Think about the swords on the card and what they are doing on/in/to the boat. What about the other images: the boat itself, the sea, man, baby and woman. Maybe the swords are possessions/worldly goods/the things you own of value? Or maybe they are weights: like missed opportunities, bad relationships, ill health? Or skeletons... daggers... painful shards... that big backpack, or those several suitcases, of shadow? Maybe they need offloading? Maybe it is time to release them? Do they need to be taken along? Or is it time they were left behind? ⚔️
When you look at the card and the picture: how do you feel; are you safe aboard the boat and in strong, capable hands; do you trust that you are near to land and that when you get there things will improve? Or do you feel like you are lost, disenfranchised, estranged: separated from your friends, family, lover, life, purpose, happiness, health by a line of swords; at the mercy of the captain, boat, ocean and the temperament of the island you are heading to? ⛵️
THE SIX OF SWORDS often means a period of transition and signals that it has or soon will be necessary to pack, turn and leave certain things behind. In this sense, it’s a bit like THE TOWER where everything is falling and crumbling and you are falling too, only here you have a choice. Your world is not imploding suddenly. You are choosing to overhaul it.
Do you have special people in your life that, when they are around, when they text you, email you, phone you or you in-person meet up, light you up? And if you do, who are they and are they the people you would wish, expect, pick..?
👩❤️💋👩
I have a handful of precious people and each day I thank God for their love. I’m not sure who I’d be or how I’d fare without them. And I think what makes them even more special is the fact that even with their trials and troubles, of which they have many, they have space and time for me; little old me, to them, is important.
👵🏼
One of those people was my grandmother, who sadly passed away almost nine years ago now. As a child she was such a positive influence to me, such a vessel of supportive, un-judgy love. When she died she left a gap and I still miss her most days, but I do talk to her too, and I smile at her advice. She has a way with words. She doesn’t mix things up.
🙋🏻♀️
Another one of those people is my aunt, and I guess because she is further away in terms of location and because our relationship has been on and off over the years, I’m constantly stunned by the room she allows me in her heart. If I had to pick one breast, one pair of arms, to curl into when I’m upset or sick, when I’m needing a mother… it would be hers. I feel I could completely relax there. And also, no matter what, be myself.
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
I have three more relatives who I rate pretty highly, an unofficial mother-in-law, and a surrogate island-side mother. They are all wonderful, special, precious people; there if I need them but not necessarily able to be constant in my life.
🐕
And then there’s my dog, who I honestly could not live without. Not only is she loving, loyal and totally present; she’s forgiving, gentle, patient and kind too. And the most magical thing: if I’m sick or hurting or crazy inside, she knows just where to lie to make it go away, or at least feel better.
🌼
Who are the important people in your life?
🌸
How do they show up?
🌺
What do they give you?
🌻
Do they know what they mean to you?
DAY 502: HOT TIN ROOF
🐈
I sat outside again today, so I’m feeling thoroughly spoiled like a cat. I usually manage it twice in a month, so twice in one week is an achievement and I’m proud. Does that mean its onwards and upwards from here on in? Or is it just that I’m looking after myself more right now, so being more attentive? I’m not going to think too hard and just enjoy it for what it is. 🐈
As I sat, I thought about what I wanted to create and what was calling to me. Yellow seemed to be the order of the day and I focussed on that section, turning 'joy' into 'joyful' and finishing off the word 'energy', which was previously missing a 'y'. Afterwards, I just pottered around; adding some lines, French knots, and curls. The knots remind me of dripping honeycomb, triangular pineapple slices and seaside ice cream cones, all of which make me hungry. 🍯🍍🍦
Beneath the hunger for food that’s grown in the sun, for nourishment that’s ripe and rich, is a hunger for something else: company, challenge, change? I feel myself kicking at the dirt, deconstructing my life, lashing out. For weeks now I’ve been contemplating my mortality and dealing with "if I were to die tomorrow" issues. In hospital I realised there is much I would like to alter/adjust/remove... because it makes me unhappy. And yet, I’m stuck, blocked, resistant. It’s hard to blow up your life and walk away, and not always wise or necessary. 🕺🏻
Yellow tells me to take my time, focus on me, to act only when I am absolutely certain. She reminds me, too, of the Fool in tarot, and how sometimes it’s necessary to take a leap. As I contemplate these things, I count my blessings: living abroad, working from home, loving what I do... the beautiful island where I live, my interests, my talents, my art and craft... the weather and the fact that right now it’s summer... the people in my life, my dog’s love, not having died. There: that wasn’t hard. I smile. It will all turn right, or else come out in the wash. 🛁
Have you spent your whole life feeling out of place, feeling like you don’t belong, wondering if you were plucked from a spaceship or from another land on another planet? 🌎
Have you always felt like the odd one out, the outsider, the black sheep? 🖊🐑
Have you tried everything you can to connect, tried numerous different ways to belong and still come up short? 🏚
You are not alone. You are one of many. And now there’s a word to sum it up, which makes it a little less strange and a lot less peculiar. 🐟
To discuss this in more detail and work on healing it: contact me to arrange a face-to-face or Skype. Flexible hours and rates. 👽
#imalittlealien #blacksheep #fishoutofwater #oddoneout #feelinglikeidontbelong #loneliness #alienation #feelingalien #theresnoplacelikehome #insearchofhome #insearchofbelonging #lookingformytribe #abandonmentissues #wrongskin #wrongplanet #butimsupposedtobeafairy #earthangel #energyhealing #spiritualcounselling #tarotreading #tarotqueen #tarotreader #tarotreadermallorca #mallorcaspiritual
Some days I see magic all around me wherever I look and I feel blessed because everyone is nice and everything I want either effortlessly appears or is super easy to find. 🌎
Other days I see a world full of people and cars, where everything is grey, pollution is rife and everyone is stressed. On these days the wind blows grit in my eyes, I twist my ankle, get splashed by a car, miss my bus and am late for work. And then I’m in a bad mood and my energy is off, so of course that’s what I attract towards me. 🌏
Remembering that’s it’s just a test, that you asked for this lesson, that it’s really nothing compared to the point of the 'bigger picture' can help a lot. And when that’s difficult I like to stand outside, tilt my face to the sun, close my eyes and breathe. In and out, in and out, in and out... until I feel grounded, connected, part of... 🌍
We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea. Now if that’s not incredible enough to give you cause for faith, I don’t know what is.
🌏
#ibelieveinmiracles #havefaith #guardianangels #godlovesme #youarespecial #youaresafe #beautifulworld #gooddays #andbadones #weliveonablueplanet #energyhealing #tarotreader #tarotreadermallorca #asktheoracle #positivevibes #comeshineyourlightwithme #comeholdmyhand #thinkpositive #higherpowers #thebiggerpicture
DAY 501: THE TASTE OF THE SUN
🛌
I’m feeling tired today, so I stitch the word 'energy', attaching it by running stitch to my zebra and plant. Then I add the word 'enjoy', because I need to be reminded to do this. When I was ill I realised I spend too much time working and not enough interacting with the world. Throughout the winter I long for summer, then sit indoors when it comes because it’s busy whenever I go out. Equally, I lust after walking my feet in the sand at the local seaside and paddling my feet in the sea, but get intimidated and dissuaded by tourists. I want to be out and about when it’s warm and friendly, connecting, interacting... but then so does everyone else. 🏝
It would be nice to live on a private island where the sun shines all year and where there aren’t that many people. There’d be no need for mobiles because there wouldn’t be any broadband, 4G or WiFi and you wouldn’t have to look left and right whenever you cross the road because nobody would drive cars. I’d like to live there with a handful of friends and my nearest and dearest. We’d meet once a week for group dinner parties and pop round spontaneously and daily with handmade and homegrown gifts. I’d be especially proud of my Jerusalem artichokes, which breed like a rabbits, and my mangoes and peaches, which capture, in their bellies, the taste of the sun. 🏜
#1yearofstitches #oneyearofstitches #1yearstitchathon #365daysofstitches #astitchaday #embroidery #sewing #lifethreads #lemonrosepetals #myinsideout #embroideredtruths #pinsandneedles #februarystitching #needleandthread #mylittlestitchery #mallorca #mallorcacreativity
#mallorcaembroidery #palmademallorca #1yearofstitches2017 #1yearofstitches2018 ——————————
If you would like to learn 👩🏻🏫 how to sew like I do, using the thread to tell a story, reveal a secret, share a truth, heal a wound so deep you can’t physically reach it: contact me at myinsideout@me.com for details and to arrange a time ⌚️. I offer 1-2-1 👯♀️and Skype/FaceTime👩🏻💻tuition in 1 + 2 hour slots, competitively priced 💸.
I love my #chihuahua. She is my #furchild. She comes most places with me and that includes #tarot readings and healings. She is sweet and kind and peaceful and gentle and loves to be stroked. For a chihuahua, she is very chilled out. Her name is Mia Bella, which means 'my light', and in times of darkness she shines so bright. 🐕
Today she is curled up on a chair beside me, which is pretty much where she is most days and she couldn’t be happier. In fact, the only time she gets annoyed is when she can’t come out and then you should see the #tantrums she throws!!! Her favourite place in #Mallorca is #Cappuccino because everyone knows and loves her there. And she and I, obviously, love them equally back. 🐕
#chihuahualove #chihuahuasofinstagram #mallorcadogs #mallorcachihuahua #furbaby #furchild #ilovemydog #fourleggedfriend #miabella #cappuccinocafe
I haven’t shown my face in a while so I thought I’d post a #selfie 🤳🏽. It’s me by the #seaside 🏖 at the weekend, feeling relaxed in sweatpants and specs 👓. If I’m being entirely honest, which I always try to be, I’ve become a bit dependent on this outfit lately. Formerly a ‘wear a dress everyday’ kind of person 👗 no matter what the occasion or where I am... I’ve done what I always do when I encounter an obstacle: revert to sweatpants 🙈. There’s comfort in not massively bothering, and I guess it reminds me of being a child and a time when things were simpler. A couple of years ago, my bump was so big I was in them for a year, which I enjoyed but others thought was strange. We are currently only in the first month and about to get rudely ousted by the appearance of the sun 🌞. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than sweatpant fabric in 30 degree heat. And while I feel a little nervous about what to do next, I am revelling while I can. 🌻
#sweatpantjunkie #ilovesweatpants #downdressingforcomfort #traumawear #wearingmypyjamastowork #iheartjackwills #jackwillsjoggers #onedayiwilldressmyage #maybe #promise
CALL TO ACTION!!!
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We all go through times of trouble 🌪 and moments of mishap ⛈. I should know... I’ve had my fair share 🌂🌂🌂. But we don’t need to go through them alone 🚶🏼♀️and we don’t need to stumble blindly 🕶. ....................
If you let me:
I can be your eyes 👀
I can be your guide 🦉
you can lean on me ....................
Whatever the malady ☠️, whatever the malevolence 👹... I can help ⛑ you to: - take charge of your health and well-being. - answer pressing problems and blocks. - figure out whether leaving that – relationship, friendship, situation, job, etc... is the right thing to do right now.
- gain insight, clarity, illumination and knowledge about key areas of your life. ....................
I provide down-to-earth 🌏, easy-to-follow 🗺, woo woo-light 🔮 tarot and chakra readings and guidance and advice for a happy 🐷, healthy 🍎, harmonious 🕊life. ....................
Receive kind counsel 💗🧠 and sistering/mothering 🤱🏻 as a one off or on a regular basis... direct from me right here right now... or now or later via Lemon Rose Petals 🍋 .com. ....................
Sessions take place at my practice in Palma or via FaceTime, WhatsApp Video or Skype and last 60-120 minutes, depending on your needs. ....................
DM me with any questions and to set up an appointment.
See lemonrosepetals.com for more info. .....................
Remember... This is a moment of suffering 🌪.
Suffering is a part of life.
You are not alone 👭👫 in this.
May you be kind 👩❤️💋👩 to yourself. 💗
I wish you healing and kindness in your journeying the world. X
DAY 500: OH, I DO LIKE TO BE...
🏖
Yesterday, my partner, dog and I took a trip to the coast, visiting a pretty fishing village just under an hour away. We tend to get stuck in a rut, doing the same thing day after day, and it was something different to change things up. I’m not saying that work didn’t come with us, because it did, but it came with less urgency and the permission to relax. 🏖
So instead of working constantly – head down, not looking up: I sat and watched the world go by, appreciating the novelty of the scenery and the joy of being outside. And while I was still glued to a chair for the most part, careful, despite my desire, not to overextend... I could still smell the sea and see, albeit it through umbrellas and table legs, the ribbon of water and sand. 🏖
In celebration of this and also because I have been keen to use yellow for a while now, I couch a silver hoop and four sequins in the space above my zebras head. The hoop looks like a lemon slice or half a tennis ball, the sequins floating seed pods or bubbles in a glass. I add the word 'joy' as an afterthought as the thread is running out, because even when we are feeling low and empty, there are things to thank. 🏖
Feeling brave and emboldened, I switch to red: adding the word 'cells' to the space beneath my zebra and the word 'pneumonia'. And, then: seven tiny hearts, like flags on a kite or bits of bunting. The word is all about rest and recovery and rebuilding what needs nurturing. And the hearts are a statement and a promise of self-love. 🏖
There’s a lot more colour now, and a part of me is sad that the soft, dreamy peace of the pastel is lost. But there’s strength and power, too, for which I am happy.
DAY 499: THE ROOT OF WHAT ISN’T RIGHT
👩🏻⚕️
You know when you get a feeling that something isn’t right and you feel it in your belly, like a twist or a jab or an anxious, unsettled flutter? Well, I get those a lot and I tend to mostly ignore them and, afterwards, I’m always annoyed because they are mostly always right. This morning was a perfect example. 👩🏻⚕️
As part of the follow-up for my pneumonia aftercare, I have to have regular blood tests: this is because someone my age should not to get so sick or be so easily susceptible. So I woke up early, forfeited breakfast, dressed, left, walked, drove, arrived and entered... and I knew right away that it was going to be a disaster... and, yet, I stayed: ignoring the cold disposition of the nurse, her dishevelled, distracted appearance and her reluctance to look at me in the eyes. It’s all very well to object openly if you’re a five year old. But if you’re an adult and you’re forty, you’re supposed to stay put. I stayed and behaved, to the chagrin of my body, and the result is a hard, grape-sized swelling on my inner elbow and a very tender arm... and it all just feels like insult to injury, one thing after another piling up, no sooner the first difficulty conquered then the next coming along.
🧛🏻♀️
Because it hurts and I feel fragile, I sew gently today, covering two sequins in my favourite variegated rainbow hue thread, carefully extracting the pink, purple and blue from the yellow, orange and green. It’s fiddly but I like it because of the distraction it provides, combined with the opportunity to vent. My sequins are vessels of disappointment and rage as well as floating fantasies of revenge. 🧛🏻♀️
Next, I lay down a 'b', 'l' and 'd', so that, together, they spell out the word 'blood'. Blood to mark the giving. Blood to mark the pain. Blood to mark my desire to dig deeper until I reach the root of what isn’t right. And a reminder, each time I see it, to have more faith in the thoughts and the feelings that come unbidden.
DAY 498: A WATERMELON WITH LEGS ✨
My zebra 🦓 needed something to stand on as well as something to eat, so I gave her some green grass 🌾, which also reflects all of the green I am eating and drinking to help heal my body. My favourite is a cucumber 🥒, celery, kiwi 🥝 and pear 🍐 juice and a cauliflower, broccoli 🥦, courgette and pea soup. ✨
Afterwards, I grow a flower 🌷; returning to the pink hoop I couched on the very first day to sew green and white knots and some satin stitch leaves 🍃. It’s supposed to be an artistic impression of my tongue, tongue turned into a beautiful flower, or a cheerful representation of my blood. But one could be forgiven for thinking it looks like an upside down apple 🍎 or a cut-open watermelon 🍉 with legs.
✨
#1yearofstitches #oneyearofstitches #1yearstitchathon #365daysofstitches #astitchaday #embroidery #sewing #lifethreads #lemonrosepetals #myinsideout #embroideredtruths #pinsandneedles #februarystitching #needleandthread #mylittlestitchery #mallorca #mallorcacreativity
#mallorcaembroidery #palmademallorca #1yearofstitches2017 #1yearofstitches2018 ——————————
If you would like to learn 👩🏻🏫 how to sew like I do, using the thread to tell a story, reveal a secret, share a truth, heal a wound so deep you can’t physically reach it: contact me at myinsideout@me.com for details and to arrange a time ⌚️. I offer 1-2-1 👯♀️and Skype/FaceTime👩🏻💻tuition in 1 + 2 hour slots, competitively priced 💸.
DAY 497: A BEAUTIFUL FOUR-LEGGED CREATURE
💗🦓💗
My zebra felt like she needed a little zing, so I covered her in gold. This also reflects my slowly healing tongue, which is now mostly yellow. I like how she shines out of the piece like a star in the sky or a single spaghetti shape in a bowl of soup and how her shimmering raised hump draws me in. I feel compelled to touch her, called to come closer, encouraged to lean in. She is cute and I want to befriend her like a pet. I just need to keep with the visualisation of her as my tongue, thinking as I apply gel and gargle and rinse that I am tending to the wellbeing of a beautiful four-legged creature who means me no harm and who has done nothing wrong.
DAY 496: A LITTLE GROUNDING
🌱
My bean felt like it needed a little grounding so I gave it some soil and a layer of sand. The soil is nutrient-rich and healing, so good for it’s body and the sand is like a blessing from God. 🌞
I like how the gold cuts through the word 'pneumonia' like a ray of light, like morning sunshine entering a dark room. I like, too, how the soil is flesh-coloured and soft and friendly like a face. Together they provide just the right balance of helpful and positive, which is important to me right now. 🌻
#1yearofstitches #oneyearofstitches #1yearstitchathon #365daysofstitches #astitchaday #embroidery #sewing #lifethreads #lemonrosepetals #myinsideout #embroideredtruths #pinsandneedles #februarystitching #needleandthread #mylittlestitchery #mallorca #mallorcacreativity
#mallorcaembroidery #palmademallorca #1yearofstitches2017 #1yearofstitches2018 ——————————
If you would like to learn 👩🏻🏫 how to sew like I do, using the thread to tell a story, reveal a secret, share a truth, heal a wound so deep you can’t physically reach it: contact me at myinsideout@me.com for details and to arrange a time ⌚️. I offer 1-2-1 👯♀️and Skype/FaceTime👩🏻💻tuition in 1 + 2 hour slots, competitively priced 💸.
DAY 495: NOTHING PERSONAL
🦓
I have not had a good morning. Late last night I discovered I have a green tongue and after a sleepless night filled with fear and paranoia because I thought I was getting better, because I thought pneumonia was it, I find myself in front of the mirror peering down my throat for other misdemeanours not yet visible, not knowing what to think. I guess the only thing for it is a trip to the doctors, which breeds anxiety about more prescription medications and their possible side effects and also pokes that nagging feeling that something with her isn’t right and that she can’t currently be trusted. Is it normal for your doctor to forget you between visits, even those that are single day spaced?
🦓
Online, Goggle tells me it’s most likely a yeast infection caused by the antibiotics and the result of inflammation in my gut, which rings true as I have such tenderness and bloating. But it disgust me also, because yeast infections make me think of personal hygiene and itching down there, an association that doesn’t sit well in my mouth. 🦓
Trying not to completely freak out on my body for succumbing to yet another illness, or mentally jumping ship leaving her to deal with it on her own (and, believe me, I want to...), I take a small metal zebra from my travelling sewing kit and attach it to the fabric. You will recognise her from my other piece, where she appears in brown, blue, silver and white. Here, to compliment my tongue, she is white and green; the idea being befriending my bacteria. If I can somehow come to personify my infection, to see it as a cute little creature of many coats and colours... perhaps I can then lovingly tend to and heal it without being repulsed? Perhaps too she will help me to be more forgiving as well as patient and compassionate? My body has endured a lot. She has had to fight harder than she is used to. She has tried, and still is trying, very hard. If she isn’t quite yet healthy; if she is getting sick: maybe it’s just normal and a natural part of life? Maybe it’s just antibiotics and the nature of pharmaceuticals and the cost of needing their help?
🦓
DAY 494: GROWING A BEAN 🌱
Today is all about inner quiet and silence because it is where I long to be and what I have lost of late. Since the hospital, there has been no peace. When I lie down to rest: my head is busy, my body in shock. I feel like a car with its engine running outside a house, or a hamster stuck on a wheel. I long to turn off, get off, lie down and rest, but I can’t seem to take a break. I’m finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I nearly died and how that relates to my life. I’m stuck inside this physical shell but I no longer feel safe. 🌱
I grow a bean to counteract the worry and transmute my fear, its growth a meditation and a prayer. I ask for a healthy immune system and a full recovery, coupled with renewed vigour and vitality. I need to feel strong again. I need to believe that I am well. I need not to be fallible or succumbing to things. My mind cannot deal with what this brings up and how it makes me feel. 🌱
#1yearofstitches #oneyearofstitches #1yearstitchathon #365daysofstitches #astitchaday #embroidery #sewing #lifethreads #lemonrosepetals #myinsideout #embroideredtruths #pinsandneedles #februarystitching #needleandthread #mylittlestitchery #mallorca #mallorcacreativity
#mallorcaembroidery #palmademallorca #1yearofstitches2017 #1yearofstitches2018 ——————————
If you would like to learn 👩🏻🏫 how to sew like I do, using the thread to tell a story, reveal a secret, share a truth, heal a wound so deep you can’t physically reach it: contact me at myinsideout@me.com for details and to arrange a time ⌚️. I offer 1-2-1 👯♀️and Skype/FaceTime👩🏻💻tuition in 1 + 2 hour slots, competitively priced 💸.
DAY 493: SUNSHINE AND SOIL
🐛
Yesterday a friend came to see me because I can’t go out and it was lovely for a couple of hours to have company. She arrived with a big bunch of flowers from her garden, which was also nice. Wild, they held a host of tiny creatures and smelt of sunshine and soil. I sat rapt all afternoon as an Ark (see Noah’s Ark, the Bible) of tiny lives ejected out, each no longer than a centimetre nor wider than a millimetre. 🐜
Today, it’s all quiet on the home front and the only company I have is my dog. She’s currently asleep on a blanket next to me, her paw in my lap. Instead of sewing, I assess what I have done and what, in its doing, I am trying to express. I like how delicate, peaceful, pretty and serene it feels, even though my emotions during, before and after are and have been anything but. I’m glad that I will have something nice to put on my wall, a celebration of survival not a victim log. 🐞
#1yearofstitches #oneyearofstitches #1yearstitchathon #365daysofstitches #astitchaday #embroidery #sewing #lifethreads #lemonrosepetals #myinsideout #embroideredtruths #pinsandneedles #februarystitching #needleandthread #mylittlestitchery #mallorca #mallorcacreativity
#mallorcaembroidery #palmademallorca #1yearofstitches2017 #1yearofstitches2018 ——————————
If you would like to learn 👩🏻🏫 how to sew like I do, using the thread to tell a story, reveal a secret, share a truth, heal a wound so deep you can’t physically reach it: contact me at myinsideout@me.com for details and to arrange a time ⌚️. I offer 1-2-1 👯♀️and Skype/FaceTime👩🏻💻tuition in 1 + 2 hour slots, competitively priced 💸.
DAY 492: A BLENDER AND A BIG CERAMIC DISH
🍵
Every day I feel stronger. Every day I can do more bit by bit, so long as I am patient and don’t rush. Washing my face is manageable. Brushing my teeth is ok. Attending to the hygiene of my hair is not such an exhausting task. I can iron. I can dust. I can hang up or put away the laundry. I can, so long as it is simple, cook. Little things; ordinary, inconsequential, boring: yes; yet right now, big celebrations and victories to me!!! Maybe I will beat the statistics and recover in record time? Maybe I will be back out there and back at work before the season ends? Having waited all year, it would be a shame to miss my favourite months. 🍵
Returning to the bow, I add gold and silver thread, more plastic sequins and a steel hoop. The gold and silver are like magic, bringing it alive; breathing a touch of glitz and glamour to what felt flat. The word, too, expresses how I feel: "pain" giving voice to all I went through and am going through still. It’s not just the tightness in my lungs or the tension in my jaw: it’s the discomfort in my belly, the agony in my back and the sharp twang of my shoulders when I move. At least with the antibiotics done, there is less time-keeping and swallowing, less praying over horrid things... and a gradual return, when I am eating, to normal taste. In my rage, I threw away so many things I wish I could now take back: the Marmite and the honey, the butter and the jam, the rice cakes and the bread. Anything other than tomatoes, lettuce, strawberries and melon was abhorrent to me. What a joy it is to eat oven baked vegetables, pan fried fish, hob-top sauces and creamy soups; to appreciate the goodness, vitamins and nutrients in all things. I celebrate by buying a blender and a big ceramic dish, committing to extreme self-care everyday.
