Our inner children are precious and vulnerable and need our love and attention, but typically they receive the opposite. Sinking into their emotions, holding space for all they have to say, can be too uncomfortable and triggering and often we just don’t have time in amongst the commitments and responsibilities of our day to listen to their experiences and be there in the way that they want us to. This leads to our inner children feeling unappreciated and undervalued, and when that happens they act out, just like a toddler would.
Learning how to support our inner children, therefore, and remembering to check in with them as we go about the business of our lives is important work and something we need to be doing regularly.
I know it’s hard. At 8 am when you are sprinting to get to work and already running late you don’t have time to deal with your inner child’s need for adventure and freedom. Their desire to journey to the country, find a forest, follow a path into nowhere, smell flowers, touch fungi, hug trees, picnic in a clearing… is impractical and inconvenient. In your world of responsibility and commitment, of bills and demands, it’s impossible to meet and you don’t want to feel the grief and abandonment at your denial of it.
And, yes, it’s inconvenient when you are on a call to your mother and your inner child is wounded by something that is said… or when you are speaking to you son and your inner child grows angry at how your son is treating you. No one said that parenting your inner parts was easy, or was supposed to be.
But it can be less hard. And it can be fun and rewarding, if you do it often enough and commit to it for the long run.
When you build up a relationship, when you reestablish that sense of connection and trust, when you form an alliance in which you take care of them and they take care of you… seeds are planted and in time a garden grows, a garden you can visit for a moment or for an hour to sit and pull shapes out of clouds, count butterflies, collect bugs, ride unicorns, take sewing lessons from mice, etc… the rules and the landscape and the activities are up to you. Whether it’s practical or fanciful, is yours for the choosing. What I’m saying is that you don’t need a real forest or a real picnic… or a real day or afternoon… you don’t need to break rules and skip meetings… you can show up and be there and parent and put back together and placate and nurture, simply by taking a short time-out in a common space to ground and commune.
So how can we better support our inner child and meet them where they’re at?
What do they need us to know today?
The Tower card is a card of intense emotions. In it we see a tower in the middle of nowhere, atop a high mountain, reminiscent of Rapunzel. The tower is burning, it’s top blown off by lightening; flames are falling, forcing its inhabitants to leap. And these poor people are heading head first into rock, or at least we imagine, as there is no ground in sight. Our inner child is communicating something pretty powerful: that they feel like their world is imploding. There is fear, chaos, uncertainty, unfairness, abandonment, victimisation and despair. In this card, the world is unkind and vengeful. It feels like it’s falling down. It feels like home has become a prison and then that prison is being attacked and the only means of survival is to leap. It feels like we are all alone and nobody cares and everything that was important, that meant anything, that meant everything, is falling away. It feels like the only way through is in surrendering and accepting great loss. Our inner child is showing us that they are having a monumental meltdown as a result of being shut up and silenced for far too long. Things have reached boiling point, breaking point, you call it. Whatever fancy gaol you built under the guise of fortresses of protection… there’s been a system crash and your inner child needs you to step in.
The Ace of Swords is how you do this. Practical. Loyal. Reliable. Fierce. Crusader of the truth. Keeper of justice. This card is all about being a bright light. But not a light of pretty parcels or fabricated fairytales. A light of a better tomorrow, a brighter future, one that you can believe in. This card cuts through the darkness like an Angel appearing from benevolent clouds, promising an end to the raging ocean and rumbling skies. If we are like lambs to the slaughter, the Ace of Swords is like God’s Heavenly Word falling upon us. It’s a promise, a commitment, a bond. If we surrender, we will be saved. If we trust, we will be brought in. Our inner child wants us to be like God, or a Guardian Angel or perfect parent. They want us to protect them, to stand before them, to see and feel their pain and anguish, their rage and messiness, and act like a bodyguard against the world. But not like previously, where we locked them up and seldom visited because we couldn’t bear their disappointment and hurt, but like a kindergarten teacher who teaches and interacts and comforts and rewards, but who also comes from a place of truth and honour and who will protect them no matter what. They don’t want to be molly coddled or fed lies. They want to be taught and told about the things that matter and informed so that they aren’t taken by surprise. In the Tower card they are subjected to our interpretation of the world and to our feelings of anger and hopelessness and grief and overwhelm at its agenda. In the Ace of Swords they aren’t saying they want us to pretend that everything is ok and that the world is made of roses and candy floss. But that there is hope in community and in like minded-people and in new thought leaders rising up. They want us to stand in front of the darkness like a lone wolf and to treat them like the most precious vital cub, a cub who needs nourishing and nurturing and growing up so that he/she too can become a crusader.
If you would like to know more about what is going on right now and would also like to hear more about my thoughts… I discuss the things that are coming up for me and how I am attempting to mother, manage, navigate and clear them in my own life on my YouTube channel in a section called A Little Light.
There are also lots of tarot card readings covering topical issues, as well as love, relationships, career, health and life, etc.
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Thank you for reading and have a brave and beautiful day. x