Wishing you love, miracles and Beanie Boos, xxx.

And this is why…

• love: is everything that speaks to your heart,
• miracles: are all of the things that touch apon your soul,
• and Beanie Boos are all that is soft, warm, fluffy and cathartic to your inner you.

I wish you knowledge that you are loved and the deep resonance of it in your body.

I wish you magic, wonder, amazement and regular pleasant surprise.

And I wish you faith and belief in the world around you and in the beauty and glory of the human race.

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To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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The past relaxed (instead of the past tense)


Introduction:

So I’ve relocated to Palma de Mallorca for a while, having been granted a stay of absence after serving out my time in Central London, England. Twelve months for my sins!!! Did I really commit that many wrongs??? Or was it more that those wrongs were wrongs from a past life, or all of my lives long-since-gone before… and, as I have often felt; even more so recently: in this life it was my choice, my destiny, to attone for and fix them all?

I’ve sensed since way back, since when I could first remember… that I came here to resolve; that I am the one to put a stop to the continuation of a great many things:

• the things that impacted me growing up,
• and the things that impact me still…

And I’ve tried to, as much as I could.

Yet there are boulders that remain, walls that will not fall; patterns and behaviours that, consciousness and open, actively working upon, even I am guilty of repeating. We are all, to some extent, mini-me’s of those who made us. They mini-me’s of those who made them. And if the ‘me’ who planted the seed of your family tree was a ‘me’ beset by complex and neurosis: it stands to reason hundreds of years on, you too are a ‘me’ beset by complex and neurosis. But we can try. And there is both peace and joy to be found in the process and the journey of trying.

~

Action:

1. What are your emotional blocks, triggers and issues…?
2. What would you most like to resolve?
3. What stressful bad or ugly would you – if you had a magic wand
   like Hermione Granger…
like to erase or make go away?

Personally, I can think of many… But this is about you.

So have a think, write it down, make it solid: so that you can then (with it as a point of focus, a thing to still and then fixate upon) take it and dissect it and pull it into pieces. Apart things are easier to face than those that remain rigid and solid, containing less ferocity in their energy than those left untouched. And dissecting is the first part of the process of unravelling and healing.

There are those who would protest to this level of detail and perhaps protracted length of analysis, asserting that it is better to heal in blindness and ignorance, claiming that pain, instead, can be removed simply by painting by numbers: this problem requires this solution, that problem that… And it can. Only in my experience – accumulated over many years with the help of both my own curiousity and exertion and the help of many experienced practitioner and therapist – pain removed without clarity and dialogue, without knowledge of ‘what’ and ‘why’, is pain that leaves leaving a root. A garden can be weeded, sprayed with chemicals, ploughed, etc… but unless the source of the thing you are trying to remove is found and then extracted, the bit that’s left is inclined to recover and, shortly thereafter, regrow. How often do we tend to a headache only to have it return? Or treat an aching limb to a massage to have it feel equally as bad the following day?

Only recently I addressed a pain in my chest, a tension and a tightness that had no business being there. And, because I attempted to appease and release it a novel way, a way that was different to anything that I had read about or experienced before (part of a personal experiment, an experiment to further growth), it went and then returned, reduced but not (as desired, as required for the continuation of my emotional wellbeing and overall physical ease, entirely absent. Roots are stubbornly inclined and have a tendency to remain hidden in order to re-emerge, putting forth shoots that effortlessly grow back into bushes and trees.

So:

• find it, name it, own it, claim it,
• reach out and touch it,
• pick it up and hold it in you hands,
• look down upon it and smile, thinking only of gentleness and feeling only love,
• speak to it as if it were a child… and, in a journal or a notebook,
  write down its reply.

Then, if you can:

• place that book over your heart and press it up against your chest with
  both palms facing down,
• then sit or lie comfortably and close your eyes and still your breathing,
• inhale and exhale deeply – visualising white light entering, black light
  leaving, focusing your thoughts on cleaning and clearing, letting go of
  all undesirable things.

I like to see the white light as Heaven-sent, the black as a long but obedient serpent (Harry Potter style). With my mind’s eye concentrated on connecting – to God, to Angels; to fairies, friendly spirits and other benevolent beings – I draw down the power of the Universe and fill myself up. Think of it like a download of unconditional love, with enough magic and mojo thrown in to completely heal and clear you of everything that is antagonistic to your essential nature and highest good. If it helps, you can picture the white light as water or rain and (if you are good at visualising), even feel it as it pours onto and over you, covering you from head to foot.

This is a great daily exercise which:

• with practice and devotion,
• with focused attention and genuine desire,

…yields big results. Especially if combined with other techniques:

• music
• essential oils
• crystals
• flower essences
• herbal infusions
• light
• movement and breathwork
• smudging…

Music can do wonders for the soul and, alone, be excellent therapy.

Smell is a powerful stimulent, different essential oils shifting and releasing unwanted emotions and energetic imbalances.

You can use crystals to address specific concerns, like exhaustion, grief, anger, anxiety, pain…

A stick of incense, palo santo wood or sage can clear negative energy from either you or a space, removing anything that has become stuck. We collect energy from every interaction and experience. Both good and bad, it all impacts us and, if ignorant to that fact or else dismissive of it, we can become anxiety-riddled, sick, toxic and polluted, without ever reaslising that it’s got very little to do with us.

I like to put essential oils on my wrist points, inhaling as I draw my attention inwards; using them as an aid to relaxing and slowing down, as well as a tool for inward focus and an awareness of how each separate part of me feels.

I also like to light a candle and dedicate it to specific guides, asking them to protect me while I work.

And I have a prayer blanket, created with love, that covers me.

What you choose is up to you and it will be different for every person.

Trust your intuition and follow what you are drawn towards. Your body knows best. Listen to that ‘belly’ brain, the one just above your navel, combining it with what you hear and feel in your heart. And don’t overthink, because it’s that brain, the thinking brain, that got you into trouble in the first place. No offence to the ego (bless it and all that… it means well), but most of what ails us is there as a result of that conscious part attempting to control and maintain authority over the older, deeper, more authentic soft and squishy parts underneath.

So:

• honour your inner baby and talk to your inner child,
• love your difficult and often overwhelmed adult,

…picking up the crumbs of potential and possibility and following where they lead, remaining, as you do so, open and receptive to all manner of majesty and magic.

To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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There’s no place like home 

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It’s the 2nd of December and all of a sudden Christmas is just a handful of days away, or that’s how it feels. I have been in Mallorca since Friday and am slowly settling in – adjusting to the temperature, the scenery, the way of life; putting long held things down and letting go of things that are tight. The people are friendly and I feel welcome wherever I go. The sky is blue and in the centre of the day it’s warm enough to sit outside. The streets are quiet, empty… and I do not have to clean my shoes each time I go out. There is less pollution. Whites stay white. Food is cheaper, fresher and mostly organic. Apples taste how apples should taste. Seafood is common and it is possible to eat out often without guilt. I am eating out. I do not feel guilty. I feel restless though and I am finding this hard to accept. I cannot sit quietly or do what I usually do; there are fears and thoughts filling my mind with the kind of things that go bump in the night. 

I miss my home with its familiar surroundings – my pictures, my drawings, my ornaments, my Fimo unicorns and knitted mice, my crystals, my oracle cards, my pendulums and lucky charms, a tea for every day of the month, four alternatives to milk; gluten-free, wheat-free, dairy-free, lactose-free products; a wardrobe full of choice, drawers full of excitement, a bed with a mattress and sheets that have only ever been mine, a brand new everything inside an old but renovated space… I miss the bathroom I at first disliked with its traditional sink and cracked white tiles, the floors whose scratches I hid beneath rugs, the neighbour upstairs and his heavy feet, the washing machine whose spin cycle woke everything up. I miss the central heating, the insulation, the open space and tall windows letting in the light. I miss it’s countless memories and the special things I did there. I could sit still and calm in that space for hours, content to be alone. I was warm. I was relaxed and safe. I am a creature of habit. I do not like to deviate from or break with routine; it tortures me, from the centre out, undoing all that I have put in place, unpicking all that I have set down, challenging my beliefs. 

Resisting the urge to rewind, burying myself deep in chocolate, tea and toast, over-sized omelettes and glasses of local wine, I try to love my hat, focusing on the importance of finishing that. But even while the comfortable click and clack of my needles soothes me, the simplicity of the project, the superficiality of its journey after that, fails to really get beneath.

Being mindful, I remind myself of how normal all of this is, how ‘okay’ it is to be a little spikey. In acting out I am speaking for the child within, the hidden part that is most often ignored. Like a dog, all she wants is a warm lap, a familiar space, a routine that caters to her every need and lots and lots of attention. Like an infant, she wants to play, existing solely in a space of love, laughter and light.

Maybe I will buy paper and coloured pens to paint my story out? Maybe I will buy thread and felt to stitch it down? I’d rather go for a walk on the beach, attempt to meditate with the sand on my skin, visit the cathedral, ride in a horse-drawn carriage, peruse the local markets, sightsee, explore, delving into each and every space, feeling, touching, tasting, really getting a sense of it. But I am trapped in another’s routine, rushing and rushing then sitting and sitting, counting the hours, avoiding the minutes, longing only for bedtime when, finally, I can shut it all out. 

This will pass, as everything passes; for there is nothing in life but change. We cannot still. We cannot cling. We cannot stop, no matter how much we might want to. And in the meantime – while I grin and bear and occasionally grimace and growl – it is best to view it as a meditation, the acquiring of a new level of acceptance, patience and self-love.

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To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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Close to my chest

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Reacquainting with old friends,
I stand confused,
unsure of who I am greeting,
twin locks of gold spinning before my eyes,
almost identical in nature.

And yet, there is a discrepancy –
of gender, of age –
if only I could see fit to figuring it out.

Picking my words carefully,
I say ‘hello’ from a distance,
one step removed,
waiting for those on the other side
to take the lead.

by Rebecca L. Atherton

To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

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Green and Gold

I have nearly completed my Christmas tree and I’m so proud, waxing about her as if she were a newborn child. Given the brevity of time before me and the new terrain, the landscape of ‘different’ in which to source from, she’s a work of art. A patchwork of randomly sourced objects, lovingly put together with an attention to detail and adherence to certain rules – like each additional adornment must be serviceable all year, for life not just for December…, she presents a whole that even I with my obsessive need for perfection cannot readily unpick.

There is a velour cat with a bubblegum pink ribbon; a perspex diamond accommodating two mis-adventuring mice (one, with her purple jacket and hat, reminding me of my grandma) a child petting her pet, who just so happens to be a beautiful chocolate-brown spaniel; a hippo in a tutu attempting a pirouette; a moose holding a snow-clad tree – tiny in comparison to his rotund self; an eccentric giraffe displaying, in his outstretched hand, an umbrella (perhaps to remind me of England and all of the rain I incurred there); a felted tiger straight out of ‘Where the Wild Things are’, a similar felted fox and kangaroo, part of a matching collection; a terracotta angel painted Mallorcan style; a ceramic squirrel with a hollow centre and a rabbit carved from local wood. All that’s missing is the star.

Sitting at the very top, visible from every angle… the star cannot just ‘do’, she has to outshine. So while I’ve seen passable solutions and the occasional ‘blow me away with their beauty but also with their price’ attempts at twinkling joviality, I haven’t yet seen anything that works without breaking the budget (which is also one of the rules!) apart. But I believe… : in the solution, in the ‘right’ one, in the five-pointed declaration that is made specifically for me. When the Universe is ready (as like with everything else), she will extend her palm and yield. And if for some unforeseen reason she will not explain, she, the universe and all of the powers that accompany her… deem I am not to have a talisman, a gem to shine in the night, to ward off the darkness… then so be it. There are reasons greater than me.

And maybe it’s about being flexible in the face of restriction. Or happy amongst the uncompromising walls of limitation. Or about only seeing what you want to see.

Living from the one hastily-packed suitcase, a sitting room full of boxes it would be unwise to unpack; making do with another’s curious ornaments and furniture – a glass bowl full of plastic fruit, a black sofa with rose embellished cushions, threadbare rugs that house more beach than dust, a table and chairs with green velvet seats (seriously?), a kitchen that supports the making of tea but actively dissuades the creation of anything else, appliances that make their grievances known, usually throughout the night; bedsheets that itch and towels that scratch, tiles that bear the mark of generations and shift beneath passing feet: there is a lot of accepting and reimagining involved.

But like with boxes and randomly placed objects; unfolded clothes, decaying flowers and unwashed cups: all manner of unwanted but immovable things… After a while they cease to exist, the eye cleverly distorting what the mind lacks the conscious desire and active need to see.

imageSo really it’s just my tree that stands out, projecting beauty, colour, positive energy, fun, enchantment, love and pride. Greeting my return like a faithful friend, she adds a little warmth and welcome to an otherwise cold and inanimate space.

To be healed is having an awareness that you were never broken

To keep up to date with my progress and receive love and light in your inbox, send me your email address.

Ask me a question or book an appointment
Buy remedies, healing aides and helpful accessories
• Check out my Etsy Shop to see what else I do